i think im going to do it friday

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sk2808, Feb 11, 2010.

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  1. sk2808

    sk2808 Member

    I've been back and forth and back and forth about it. But the pain has just been too much. I've tried to stay positive. And I never thought I'd turn to this option. But too many things happened to me at once and I am unable to handle this any more. I can't go on living my life feeling like this. I've never felt so low. The one person who I need through all this crap doesn't want anything to do with me and for no reason except he wants to be alone right now. selfish.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    What's happening? I have a hard time staying positive at times too. I've also learned that I don't have to handle everything. Please, keep posting because it will help.
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hi, Like Chargette I would be interested in hearing what has happened. We want to help, really. Maybe we can help you or someone else here can once they hear what is going on with you.

    Well glad you reached out and keep posting it really helps a lot and we are listening
    Hugs Bambi
  4. sk2808

    sk2808 Member

    Well my "boyfriend" (he's not really that anymore) went to Japan this past Oct/Nov. He's in the military. Anyways, when he left everything was fine up, he got homesick around Christmas and started pushing me away but then we got through it. Then the very start of January I lost my job and currently I am still jobless. I'm also enrolled in 4 classes online, which isn't a huge deal but it's a lot of extra stress. Well everything was fine up until about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The start of the week he was fine, telling me how much he loved me missed me and couldn't wait to see me soon. I was suppose to come visit in March. I dk if I am now. But anyways 3 days after this he calls me and blurts out I can't do this anymore. I can't be in a relationship right now. He said the distance was just too much for him. That he got over in Japan and he got used to just being alone and it's just easier right now. He also told me he has commitment problems but idk about that. I mean we've been dating for well over a year. And we were talking about getting married and that was in like December of last year. I dk so it pretty much turned my life upside down, he's my best friend and I just don't feel like I can go on any longer with everything going on without him. I mean we still talk but only weekends and the occassional email during the week but its nowhere near the same. He said i'm not giving up on us and who knows whats going to happen down the road. but i still hurt and i can't go on like this for 2 years wondering if we will ever be together again.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to focus on you right now.. Get yourself in a better place..If he loves you he will still be there..I think right now you just need to take a break.. Thas what it sounds like he is doing..Be kind to yourself..
  6. sk2808

    sk2808 Member

    Yeah, I know but it's sooo confusing. I can't lose him forever. I have to know things will be ok eventually and that we will work things out when the time is right. If not, I do not want to live anymore, it's too painful!
  7. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you have too much to live for
  8. grim_manifestation

    grim_manifestation Active Member

    I would be hurt and confused if that happened to me too. Its ok to feel that way. Try and be patient...it WILL make more sense over time.
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