I Think Im Going To Do It.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DaysofGrace, Sep 9, 2007.

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  1. DaysofGrace

    DaysofGrace Member

    Soo here I am again up at three in the morning deciding wether I should live or not. Lately the thought about killing myself has invaded my thoughts... Its all I think about even at school with friends I just hate my life and i want it over with i feel like i can never come back from the huge hole ive put myself in.. and deep down inside i know if ido continue to live itll always be like this no matter how much i try or how much i want it itll never happen for me. happyness is something i can never have. i look at the people around me, envious, they dont know how much they have that i never got to experince.but whats it matter if i do die anyway? no one will care..
     
  2. Mathale

    Mathale Well-Known Member

    I understand what you mean, when your down and you see others happy around you, there is a slight green emotion with the idea that they don't appreciate what they have....

    BUT i think that's more of the idea that, your green because you want what they have. You want that smile, that attention and the appreciation of existence.

    Luckily on here, your going to get the attention needed to help you.

    Why is it that you want to quit so easily? Life was never written with rules that everyone will feel happy all the time. infact those people who you think have it all, probably dont. We all have our own issues behind closed doors, and yes as much as its wise to let these issues be known to those who can help, a smile on the face doesn't hurt. When things get really bad just battle it, because even if you cant see it or feel it, it all ways will get better.

    Matt
     
  3. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    I know exactly what you mean. I look at my smiling, laughing friends and not only do I get jealous because they are not at the mercy of their emotions, but I get angry because they dont' understand.

    I some of my friends mock those who are suicidal, those who cut, those who wear black, etc. And ever since I've become that girl, I fight them; and moreso I fight them ever since I joined this site. It's not fucking fair. We should not be ridiculed because we want to die.

    :hug: Try to feel better. You're not alone here.
     
  4. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    You know...just because the people you see all around are all smiling and laughing and having a good time at the moment doesn't mean they don't all have their ups and downs. Everybody does. Well, most everybody. Some people have longer down times than others but almost everyone goes through periods of depression.

    How do you know those people are happy when they're home alone in their beds? How do you know some of them aren't putting on an act to convince everyone they're happy?

    I've found something about life. It's not meant to be all happy. It would be nice but it isn't realistic. Some people seem to have it easy. Lots of others have to work damn hard at it. But no matter who you are or how hopeless it seems, I can pretty much guarantee that you will have some happy times in your life. You might just have to wait a little bit longer than others. Maybe you won't lead a charmed life. Few do. I know that's what they promised. They promised us all, after all. Didn't they?

    But think about it. What would it take to make you happy? Just for a day? Would just one day of happiness change your mind about the possibilities for your future? I bet it's not a lot. I bet almost everyone reading this would be happy if they could just relax for a while and clear their minds. I don't know how to do it. It's different for everyone. For me, music helps a lot. Headphones and music. Maybe a walk in the rain? I laid in the grass one night and stared up at the stars with my headphones on. It was amazing! For that time, I felt like my life was brand new. I felt so small and yet a part of the massive universe.

    Don't give up.
     
  5. Raiden

    Raiden Guest

    I think they're more mocking "Emo" people. Sorry, had to get that out of the way.

    In any case, try to hang in there and give life a chance. People at SF will do whatever they can to help you, myself included. :smile:
     
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