Not sure this belongs in this thread. I'm not planning a suicide and don't want to die but some things have been going on - like intrusive thoughts and worse that they become psychological self harm on top of the usual.
Hijacker seems to be asserting itself more and offering me much chaos. It insists that it has merely identified the true me and that even though being that will be destructive in very painful ways, it is intent on "helping" me. But offers nothing in the way of comfort, happiness, friendship, security, reason or finding support.
I just texted my therapist and she suggests that this is symptomatic of my illnesses. But that does nothing to help deescalate the situation. She says I refused the solution - meds.
I've unsuccessfully expressed to everyone the potential disaster I see with meds. No one has quelled my fears. I just wish there as a way to have even a little security and feeling of support close at hand. But I guess support means I'm taking the easy way out - like being abandoned and isolated is good for me.
I've been abandoned and isolated all my life and look where it got me. Right now I could go either way to a total breakdown or resumed denial and dissociation. And I don't even know which is worse.
Hijacker seems to be asserting itself more and offering me much chaos. It insists that it has merely identified the true me and that even though being that will be destructive in very painful ways, it is intent on "helping" me. But offers nothing in the way of comfort, happiness, friendship, security, reason or finding support.
I just texted my therapist and she suggests that this is symptomatic of my illnesses. But that does nothing to help deescalate the situation. She says I refused the solution - meds.
I've unsuccessfully expressed to everyone the potential disaster I see with meds. No one has quelled my fears. I just wish there as a way to have even a little security and feeling of support close at hand. But I guess support means I'm taking the easy way out - like being abandoned and isolated is good for me.
I've been abandoned and isolated all my life and look where it got me. Right now I could go either way to a total breakdown or resumed denial and dissociation. And I don't even know which is worse.