I think I'm having a precrisis crisis

[dandelion s]

Are you really the bad, faulty person these thoughts define you as, or is there something more to you which proves them to be false?

Answering this honestly and correctly could actually give the appearance that I am truly severely schizo or whatever I don't know... I am not just sitting here with negative thoughts. Someone else is in here with me and wants to hurt me and take me away from being me and make me be someone else it insists that I actually want to be. I think this is all a sadistic assault but I also have to consider that hijacker could be right and then I'm faced with truly hating what I'm left with.

 

[dandelion s]

I struggle with this question too!!

But as I said, I'm not having the bad thoughts. hijacker is like someone else inside who knows about me, telling me things it insists are truths. I have to consider that what hijacker says really is the truth about me. It may very well be a matter of accepting hijacker's truths and becoming who hijacker insists I really am. Consensus among professionals is that hijacker is not a demon and separate but actually a part of me. I may be wrong about myself and have to go along with hijacker. It has nothing to do with "warm heartednesses, kindness, empathy, compassion". And I feel that hijacker is getting more assertive and that I am having less and less of a say in this and hijacker is winning. hijacker has at times claimed that it is I who is actually the hijacker.

 

[Lara_C]

. I have to consider that what hijacker says really is the truth about me. It may very well be a matter of accepting hijacker's truths and becoming who hijacker insists I really am. Consensus among professionals is that hijacker is not a demon and separate but actually a part of me. I may be wrong about myself and have to go along with hijacker

But you don't really believe you are a bad person, do you? Why should you believe that?

 

[dandelion s]

But you don't really believe you are a bad person, do you? Why should you believe that?

Well I do consider it at times. Particularly when I'm keenly aware of my weaknesses and failings in battling hijacker or that if hijacker is me, that I have hijacker at all.