I think I'm just about done...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by expendableem, May 4, 2015.

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  1. expendableem

    expendableem Member

    I just... I dunno, I don't think I can deal with this. I'm trying so hard it's not even funny. Why does it hurt so much? I like to tell myself I have a horrible life but I don't, not really. My mom hasn't hit me in years, and I have a job. A crappy job, but a job. I have a nice home and loving siblings and good friends and a pretty good dad. I have amazing teachers that care about me. I have people to talk to. And yet, still, everything hurts. I just don't understand. Honestly, I feel like I feel suicidal for no damn reason and that just makes it worse because I really can't explain it. Yeah, I have a lot of money problems and I hate my job and I have a lot of problems with my mom. Yeah, I'm failing a couple classes at school. None of that is the reason I want to die. I don't have it that bad. It really could be so much worse. I really don't know what my fucking deal is. I just don't know what it is. All I know is that I just want everything to stop.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    I am sorry you are feeling so bad, I am not a qualified anything but I do believe your problems with suicidal thoughts could simply be down to a chemical imbalance so you do need to see the doctor. Have you been to a doctor already? I am really sorry you are going through this, you do not deserve it. I am glad you have great siblings,friends and teachers, use that to urge and push you on to get better and well.

    Best of luck, Petal :)
     
  3. expendableem

    expendableem Member

    I do have a doctor; I've been seeing him for about three years now. I scheduled an appointment with him tomorrow since it was the soonest I could get. My parents are pissed I scheduled during school, but I'm not sorry; this appointment is the main reason I haven't hurt myself at this point.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Brilliant, ignore your parents they will get over it, you have to look after YOU and it sure seems you know what you are doing. It's great you got an appointment for tomorrow, I cannot get one til 21st july but I don't really need it anyway. Go to your appointment, tell them everything and you are on your road to recovery my friend!! I have been where you are and I can tell you that you can get through it. Write down your thoughts now and hand it to the psych and don't be afraid to be completely honest. They are there to help you.
     
  5. expendableem

    expendableem Member

    Honestly, I was really surprised I got one so fast. I think the reason I got it so soon is because it's been months since I had an appointment and they've really been calling and sending me a lot of letters. I think I worried them. Oops...
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well if you did worry them and catch their attention that is a good thing, so best of luck to you tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. :)
     
  7. expendableem

    expendableem Member

    Thank you c:
     
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