i think i'm ready

[Tealc]

outside its chilly, but the sky is a lovely blue and the sun is shining, such a lovely day.
many people are going about their day, enjoying the sun and happy with their lives yet i see the same as them but find no joy in it, i look out of the window and stare out into the street, hoping to see something, some spark to ignite my life again and drag me out of this mess.

but i know it won't happen, i know that i'll spend yet another weekend alone, thinking of where i am, what my life is and how it should be.
my loneliness will become stifling, the profound sadness i feel in my heart will push me further down.
i'll sit and ponder, then get angry followed by upset.

yes i know, you'll say go out, walk in the sun, be around others.
and i do, but its almost like they don't exist, i see and feel nothing

i don't know anymore but i think i'm ready, i think i am .

 

[Acy]

I have felt the same sometimes.

First, the practical and immediate: Are you near a park with squirrels or pigeons or ducks? Take some bread crusts and go feed them. Having trusting animals looking up at us beseechingly for food can do wonders for our sense of life. (At least it has done for me and I hope it might for you, too.)

Second, where is it that you feel you should be in life that you feel are not? Can you make a long-term plan with several small steps to reach some goals?

Feel free to PM me if you if you want to talk. :hug: Please stay safe.