I honestly think that I may be too far gone to fix and that means I have two options. 1) Continue trying to get help but ultimately feel the same, continuing on with a life void of happiness and companionship or 2) I end it. I was so excited at the start of September. I had gotten some confidence from an experience, I was soon to be done my schooling and I was going to make moves to find someone to share time with. Move two weeks after that and I was back to my low confidence, hated being in school and completely heart broken about my chances of finding a gf. Not to mention I put a huge gash in my left bicep (and I had gone 4 months with nothing) Fast forward to now and it's worse. I'm completely avoiding all school work and when I do it, it's incredibly bad and half assed. I put a hole in my wall because I became so angry I just needed to hit something. I can't even hang out with my friends because I fell in love with one and she is incredibly happy with another guy (who is basically the same as me in personality) and watching them together is painful. I signed up for Plenty of Fish and it's been a disaster. I recieved an email 5 minutes after joining from a girl. We chatted a little then gave each other msn info. Talked to her for a few minutes until she asked what car I have. I told her I didn't have one and she immediately blocked me. (it says I didn't have one in my profile) So that was another piece of evidence for I suck and confirmed a fear I have. basically how am I supposed to be there for someone when I'm completely broke, and have nothing to make me an adult. And waiting to get this stuff is going to be awhile and I don't see the point if I'm alone. I'm just too fucked up in the head. I've tried therapy, I've tried medication and I've tried to fight but none of it has worked. I look back at all the evidence and all it points out is that I'm an excellent listener, but unless they are drunk a girl/woman will never show me any affection and if they do, they will regret it and ask if we can ignore it. I don't know what to do anymore.