I think it's almost time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Adieu, Oct 7, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Adieu

    Adieu Account Closed

    I've been suicidal since I was 13 years old, and I'm 18 now.

    I'm really just tired of things not getting better (and yes, I've tried).

    I think I'm ready to do this.

    3 things are stopping me though.
    1. Guilt, I'll feel bad for my parents
    2. Sean, I love him although he does not love me and we will never get back together
    3. Fear of my method not working/getting "saved"

    But all in all I'm ready.
    I've planned it out.
    All I need now are to write notes, which I have no clue what to say.

    Just needed to vent, because every one of my friends that I talk to about it just blow it off or end up calling my parents /:
     
  2. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    Though I don't know your situation I understand the pain you're feeling. And though my posts in this forum may make this comment seem hypocritical I hope you'll take these words into consideration.

    I've been suicidal since I was 12. I'm 43 now. I wasted a lot of years wishing I would die. I would pray to God before I went to sleep to take me in the night and could never understand why he would not answer my prayers. Maybe because there is no God. Maybe because his answer was no.

    I would strongly suggest you talk to your parents. I never gave mine the chance to understand what I was going through. If you truly can't face your parents speak to a close friend. And if all else fails, call a crisis line. I too have held on because of my concern over how a loved one would react, but truly the big reason is the finality of the act. When closest to committing suicide I found myself asking if there was anything left I haven't tried. That's partly what brought me here.

    And I know how much the lost love hurts. I'm dealing with one of my own right now. But please believe me, at 18 you have so much potential for happiness ahead of you. Ask for help wherever you think you might find it. PM me if you need to and I'll do whatever I can to help.

    And though this may seem like an odd suggestion, write the notes. Then rearead them. I've done it and found it to be somewhat cathartic. You come to realize how much you love and would miss the people you're writing the notes to. And when you're done reading them, destroy them.

    Hang in there. More people care than you may believe.
     
  3. shefallsasleep

    shefallsasleep Well-Known Member

    I totally agree with 2 of those things, about your parents and being scared of the method not working, they are the only 2 things stopping me, apart from the bit about loving someone andknowing they dont love you back and wont ever get back together, that is the thing that makes me want to. If you ever wanna chat I'm a PM away xx
     
  4. sweetiepet

    sweetiepet New Member

    i know how u feel i dont want to upset ma family and i dont want to fail thats happened before my friends dont understand they all live perfect lives i`m glad i found this site i feel like there is people out there like me x
     
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

  6. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.