I think it's time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Gjinx, Oct 28, 2008.

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  1. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    I think tonight's the night. I think that my time has come. This world is a terrible place and I don't want to be a part of it anymore.
    Tonight when my friend is a sleep I will drink the vodka I bought, write a letter. Where is the best place to put the letter? On myself or in the house?
    I will take the elevator to the highest floor and jump to freedom, jump to my father and all the others that have left me.
    If the XXXX doesn't give me the currage the XXX deffinatly will.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2008
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hope you are safe today...please let us know how you are doing....J
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Please think twise before you will take the one way route down.
    I know haw hard it can be sometimes the pain and everything around it.
    But as i did, i think you should too, find a way to escape the pain and the thoughts.
    My escae is vodka and drugs, i know its not ideal, but its better then the alternatives.

    Wish you all the best, and i support and respect every choise you make.
  4. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    I hope you do something knowing all the risks involved.
    Jumping might just make things worse.
  5. Boing

    Boing Member

    You think your suicide note pinned to yourself is going to be readable when you splatter yourself in a bloody mess on the ground??

    Alcohol and depression are bad partners when it comes to making hasty decisions.

    Take stock and have a rethink.

    Good Luck.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2008
  6. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    I am still here it is only early night where I am.

    I like to do drugs and drink vodka but people say i hurt them when i do it so i can not do that instead of suicide.

    I know what I am doing it is pretty high and I will land on asfalt no way I will survive.

    Thanks I didnt think about that. Better put it inside then.
  7. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    theres more to life than suicide, what your planning isnt the answer and never will be.
    i understand you are in pain and hurting right now but there are other ways, other choices to make and other roads to walk.
    they may not be easy and may take time, but surely you are worth the effort?

    rethink your plans, take a pause from this destruction of life.

    you have only posted twice, let us in and let us help you thru this.

    please stay safe
  8. Boing

    Boing Member

    I got a better idea Gjinx matey. Don't write one in the first place and try talking things through with the people who would've read it.

    Gotta be worth a try.

    Good Luck
  9. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    I have tried. I tried to change my thinking tried to stay positive. But it's difficult every night I see the man who abused me when I was 2 until I was 8 I hear and feel it. I miss my father he died 2 years ago when I was 19. But I stayed strong I was thinking it will be better if I just keep on working it will happen something good. And I kept on for 3 years now without doing stupied things. Nothing happens. The world only gets worse and worse everyday that goeas by I see so many people suffering and I suffer myself. What is the point?
  10. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    the point is that your father wouldnt want you to end like this hun.

    fight on, stick with it and wait and see.
  11. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    You are right. But when I jump I will see him again
  12. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You cant be sure, yet we all hope for the same thing in the end.
    Yet i must add, you said you worked so hard for 3 years straight but nothing good happaned
    Maybe you didnt tryed to find it in the first place? Its one thing when you stend
    and waiting for a bus, and its another thing when you take the bus when it arrives
    And surley it must be the right bus for you, i dont know why buy from your
    posts i feel like something big is going to happen in your life, something good.
    I really think that you should reconsidre your plan.
  13. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    I have jumped on alot of busses I have tried diffrent jobs diffrent countries and I have traveld. But the pain always come back.
    Dont you write that about that something good will happen to me just because I shouldnt kill myself or do you really think so?
  14. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    we really think so, it will just take time, you need to start feeling self worth in this world first, you belong here hun, you will have a life worth living, just wait and see.
    you will see all those who are waiting for you when its your time, and its not now, when you see them you will have a lifetime of memories to tell them , not just a few years worth.

    think about it
  15. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    What are you going to do when it goes wrong and you become a vegatible, or paralyzed. Please reconsider, there are plenty of different paths to explore. You just need to seek them out either by posting here or by seeing a therapist(which I highly reccomend). You have a whole life ahead of you!! I am aso suicidal but by using my meds faithfully and seeing my therapist every other week I am able to cope with them. Hell I have been told that my thoughts of suicide are probably going to be with me for the rest of my life. Please seek some help!!!Take Care!!!~Joseph~
  16. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    I am kicked out of therapy because I didnt go for a week. I was stupied and now I have no one... only this forum
  17. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    that's a shame about therapy, is there any possibility that they will reconsider? i'm glad you still have the is forum, though. you will find many people here who have been in your shoes and are willing to help. keep posting!
  18. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    I dont think they will since I already have a warning. Yeah but soon I can not be on the internet anymore. Because I am not going to get any money cause I can not work I dont have any education and when Im not in therapy they will not pay. I will have maybe a month in my house if i choose to live then Ill be on the streets and ill die soon enough anyway
  19. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you say you don't think they will, but you don't know that for sure. can you call and ask for an appointment to discuss this? i just think it's worth trying everything in this battle to stay alive....
  20. Gjinx

    Gjinx Member

    I can do that I guess. But I am to embaressed to do it I keep thinking about what they will think about me that I am a big loser who not deserve to get help.
    Why do you all care about me? I am not use to that I never thought there would be so many caring people replying to this post. I must say that I am a bit touched.
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