I'm sensing some apathetic air about me, and sometimes it helps, but most times, it's out of place. I work in social services at a major non-profit organization in D.C. A woman walked in a few weeks ago for help. She was being abandoned by her then-husband, and father of her two toddler-aged children. She was being evicted, and about to have her utilities cut off. Family members were unwilling to help her and the children. She was sad and crying right in front of me, just she and I in a room. I deal with this kind of struggle amongst my clients everyday, but she was what I believed to be at the edge. She said to me, "I'm just about to give up. I've had it. I can't go on any longer, I want to give up" and it went on and on, and I just knew she wanted to kill herself. I was fearing for her children. In one hand, I wanted to tell her "go ahead and do it, but make sure you have some secure arrangement for your kids, first." The very fact that I even was a slip of the tongue close to damn near encouraging her to just "go ahead, it'll relieve your worries," made me realize just how sad I am, seemingly to the point of no longer being able to falsely tell others that they should keep living. What the hell for? If I can't convince myself, how can I try to convince someone else? I felt terrible about it, but at the moment, I was so apathetic...I didn't even notice how wrong it would be to say that until "Well..." just came out of my mouth, and I realized I may lose my job, and just ended up saying instead, "Well...you have your children to think about. Think about their safety" or something to that effect. The same thing happened today, but it seems I've been able to tame it so far and am learning to tell people that they should hold on. I simply don't know what else to say. I don't know how to bond with people. One of my friends from college once told me some years ago that I'm too "matter-of-fact" and don't take into consideration that it's better to make others feel good, even if you have to lie. It's so damn hard to do.