I think I've reached a new low

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PleaseDontRemember, Feb 20, 2013.

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  1. PleaseDontRemember

    PleaseDontRemember New Member

    I thought things had become so much better. I got rid of some extra baggage weighing me down for a while and I felt free. Then I got lonely again.

    I've lost the will to do anything. Going to school, going to work. I don't want to talk to anyone, even my best friends and family. I've lost all kinds of hope. If even the slightest of happiness appears in my life, I try not to talk about it for fear of it going away...just like everything else.

    Before I knew it, everyone I knew was in a relationship, and while it was the least of my priorities, I sort of missed that feeling. Either way, I hopefully entered a new relationship with this guy that was amazing. Yeah okay, he was all lovey - dovey at first, always kissing and hugging me. Then he just didn't talk to me. Until he texted me last week asking to borrow $300, nope. (I may be desperate, but I'm not stupid). Now all he posts is how he needs a girlfriend blah blah, whatever. I should be over it, I've gone through so much worse heart ache.

    But now, now I don't know. I've started doing things I wouldn't normally do, or even dream of doing. Hanging out with stupid guys I normally wouldn't, and doing things I don't even care to say...

    Everyone's leaving me, and those who haven't are going to. And I'm the only one to blame. I can't hold up any sort of relationship with anyone, even my own parents anymore.

    I feel like this is my only hope. I'm really hanging by a thread here.

    sorry for the diary post.
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hey Jaime, it sounds like you have really good discernment. You knew not to give money to that guy. I am impressed. Please try to not lower your standards for yourself. Getting involved with people or things that are not healthy for you is a real slippery slope ( as they say) it can snowball into worse stuff which can quickly make life more lost than you could imagine. The destructive path is a nowhere path. Can you make this your community until you can sort things out irl? I hope so. Just please dont get into stuff that you know is a road to nowhere. Its honestly never worth it. And the road back is pretty rocky. Just saying :hug:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Jaimie we won't leave you here ok you keep talking to us. Good on you hun for not giving your money away to such aloser. You hun keep your head up ok don't hun get into any situation you will regret later hun There is hope hun so don't go down that hole any deeper they you are ok hugs
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