I thought things had become so much better. I got rid of some extra baggage weighing me down for a while and I felt free. Then I got lonely again. I've lost the will to do anything. Going to school, going to work. I don't want to talk to anyone, even my best friends and family. I've lost all kinds of hope. If even the slightest of happiness appears in my life, I try not to talk about it for fear of it going away...just like everything else. Before I knew it, everyone I knew was in a relationship, and while it was the least of my priorities, I sort of missed that feeling. Either way, I hopefully entered a new relationship with this guy that was amazing. Yeah okay, he was all lovey - dovey at first, always kissing and hugging me. Then he just didn't talk to me. Until he texted me last week asking to borrow $300, nope. (I may be desperate, but I'm not stupid). Now all he posts is how he needs a girlfriend blah blah, whatever. I should be over it, I've gone through so much worse heart ache. But now, now I don't know. I've started doing things I wouldn't normally do, or even dream of doing. Hanging out with stupid guys I normally wouldn't, and doing things I don't even care to say... Everyone's leaving me, and those who haven't are going to. And I'm the only one to blame. I can't hold up any sort of relationship with anyone, even my own parents anymore. I feel like this is my only hope. I'm really hanging by a thread here. sorry for the diary post.