I think my life is pointless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Jul 7, 2014.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I know a lot of you will say things like "No one's life is pointless", but I honestly feel like mine is. I've never had a purpose, ever since I've been born. Every day is like an eternity of nothing. My mom said no one will ever be serious about me, and I know she's right. No one ever sticks around, so why should I believe anything else? People never believe in me, and no matter how much I want to prove them wrong, or say it will be different this time, or that I'll show them, they always end up being right. Then they can just smile and say "I told you so" and laugh at me for even thinking things will be different. The present isn't so great, but the future is just dark and bleak. I can't imagine sticking it out much longer than I already have. I guess I'm trying to rationalize to myself that suicide is the right option, as scary as that might be for now. I just have to try my hardest to overcome that fear and do what I've needed to do for decades.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Witty Sarcasm, there is a point in life. I feel like you everyday but I'm still here just about. The purpose of life for you and me is this forum and helping others in crisis. I have made that one purpose in life as I would not be here if it was not for the kindness shown here. You should be proud in how you have help others in their time of crisis.

    I sending you virtual hugs and a virtual clap of the hands as your struggle helps me a great deal. Respect and take care.
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Yes Witty, I second all of that. Perhaps something to consider is the suggestion that you feel..... I know feelings are important, but our thoughts are very much connected with them and what has helped me is not to take my view of reality from my feelings, because life being what it is, it's tough and sensible people do have their feelings hurt (especially by false prophets such as you quoted your mom) and then the mind starts thinking in a negative spiral trying to make sense of it all - and because our minds are finite (unfortunately!) when we can't make sufficient sense of our surroundings and worldview, this is taken up by our feelings, and round we go.

    Making the mental decision, that despite of feelings, we are going to see it through and find our fulfilment in other ways is a cognitive step along the path that will bring feelings into line in their proper place so the tail doesn't wag the dog.

    I desperately needed to do this a long time ago - but it wasn't until I found a mentor who helped me understand how to do this, practically, that the possibility of it having the power to turn things around began to dawn.... it starts with a single cognitive step not to overly consult our feelings, because - well, there's so many good reasons not to, I hope this makes sense :)
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I know I'm good at helping others, but I can't help myself. I think that's why the best solution is to get this done with as soon as possible.
  5. islandification

    islandification Well-Known Member

    Negative remarks from parents really hurt the most. I still remember my father saying I would never amount to much, because I was smart but had no ambition or creativity. Like you I also find life to be pointless, although tolerable most of the time if I don't take things too seriously.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm so sorry your father said that to you. It does hurt when the people who should care about you the most are that way towards you. I'm still trying to find my real purpose in life, whatever that might be.
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Not being able to help ourselves is the time when we need to let others help us :) We were never designed to do life on our own, or with no desert places or storm clouds. This is where we can take courage from those who've found their path through - the principles are objectively the same for all paths where there is a desire to find the point & purpose of it all - and this is why your thinking at the moment is providing the opportunity - please try and see this as an opportunity although it presents as unpleasant. :grouphug::grouphug:
    I understand where you're at Witty, and it can be turned around
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    If I thought I deserved help, then I would let people help me. I know for sure that no one would care if I died, and I don't care enough to live, so that seems to be the only solution.
  9. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Witty:

    Same here trying to find a purpose. I do care about you and do like your posts here on SF. Im told countless of times everyone has a purpose in life, to me it doesnt feel that way. When I tried last month alot people were concerned that I didnt think about its like a ripple effect in a pond. When you are gone it matters to the pond rippling. Im quite sure there are people around you that would care just dont remember thosepeople or is unware Like I was. Not caring to live is the beast of depression talking and taking over.

    Hang in there other solutions would come along.
  10. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Please may I ask you why, exactly, do you think that you don't deserve help?

    You may not care enough to live at present, but that's because of over reliance upon feelings and agreeing with this image of yourself. The truth is that no matter what we have done or what we have become, that it is possible to come to a different place of appreciation :)
  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Thanks guys...I know I can be quite stubborn when I really get depressed...so I have been trying to focus on the good things in my life and I'm trying to be more hopeful for the future. It's a struggle, but I'll keep trying to get better. :)
  12. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    that's great Christy, lovely to hear that - we are all in the same boat really, and it IS a journey, we have to learn to give ourselves grace, and always be on the lookout for true helpful things that we can dwell on instead of the negatives. It is a battle we can win, despite appearances :) Tomorrow is always another day and we can choose our attitude :)
  13. argonunya23

    argonunya23 New Member

    Look. I by no means want to play devils advocate but...how can you tell someone that their life is worth living without hearing anything about them? age, sex, marital status, living situation, job situation...like saying that you should live just because feels so impersonal and unconvincing. I want to know what the person's situation is and go from there. Should you kill yourself because you got a bad grade? obvioiusly not. Should you kill yourself because your whole family was just killed in a horrible accident, your 55 years old and super depressed about your twilight years alone? well.. maybe. Living isn't the best option just because it is what your supposed to say and anyone who has truly been in a dark place should agree with me.
  14. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    You're exactly right, I don't plan to stick around much longer anyway. And no one needs to really know anything about me except that I hurt people. I don't try to do that, but it seems like there is more bad than good in me. No, I didn't get a bad grade, I just had a bad life. More than bad, maybe not as bad as some, but definitely bad enough to make me consider to want to end this. It's something I've thought about for a long time, now I just need to make plans towards it.
  15. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    No, you don't need to make plans toward it, because whether you believe it or not, people know you, know who you really are, and care about you. You think there's more bad than good in you, but that isn't true. It's just what you've convinced yourself because of what some people have led you to believe. But that doesn't make any of it true.
  16. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I agree with WildCherry Christy - I know that I have hurt people too (no one does this on purpose unless they know they are doing it and are maliciously inclined aforethought) but sometimes people just get hurt by other's even good intentions - this is what sent me into a tailspin but it is survivable and we can gain wisdom and strength from it, even so. It is a mis-belief that there is no bad stuff in people - and sometimes it just happens because of the way life is, but we can come to see it another way and not think that we do not deserve to live any longer because of it. If there was anyone who was in that bracket, it would be me, but I now understand why it happened and that has effected a healing. That there are no hopeless situations is ours for the believing :)

    And argon - not knowing a person's circumstances doesn't mean we can't try and help them see their thinking from a different perspective, and try to put an objective light on things for them, that is what SF is for :)
  17. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    No ones life is compariable to anothers and just because of bad life doesnt cheapen it and giving suicide as a solution or a way out of the life. Why cant one create something out of a bad life into a good life?
  18. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    its a clich├ęs : sometimes when life hands us lemons we gotta make lemonades out of it.

    Im sorry your life was bad at times or that you feel bad about hurting people. Its just never too late to live life the way you want. Never too late to change.
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Good idea, keep trying to get better and do not give up is battle, 'cos you are too bright for that!! :hug:
  20. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    maybe she's wrong.
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