I always screw up. I over react and disrespect the one person I live the most and truly respect deep down. I just cant control it. It happens all of the time. He deserves so much better, and never deserved to meet me at all. I'm poison in everyone's lives that I've touched. And yesterday I lost the only person I was fighting death for. There is no purpose any more. And I understand why he hates me. Because I hate myself more.