I think this is what drowning feels like...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by HalfBlind, Apr 17, 2008.

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  1. HalfBlind

    HalfBlind Active Member

    I had another doctors appointment yesterday. It was to see if I still needed my meds. It seemed it went ok until this morning I got a call saying that there's going to be a meeting to see if I need to got into residential treatment AGAIN! I reeeeealy don't want to go back... let me rephrase that: I AM NOT GOING BACK. If I do I'll die, maybe not physically (but I can work on that), but in every other way. I can't live like that again. I can't stay and be admited, I can't run because I know I'll get caught. It seems there's only one other alternative. And it doesn't seem like it would be a bad thing either... it seems that my heart beat only brings more decay into this already rotting planet, that I'm only taking up space and wasting air.

    And plus, I've always wanted to die. I'm tired, and think I need to rest.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 17, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i know you are tired but please do not give up.

    can you make your wishes known to your care team? you have rights, inlcuding the right to make decisions about your own treatment. is there an alternative? like a day treatment program that is more intensive than the help you currently get?
  3. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Everytime you try to break out of this hole, you get a step or more closer to coming out, no matter how hopeless it seems.

    Create a goal to live for. Your are already here. That already says that you have a positive part on this planet. If you kill yourself, that would be a waste of resources.

    Can you find another treatment plan?
  4. HalfBlind

    HalfBlind Active Member

    I've tried the things you've suggested, and either I'm not eligible, or the waiting list is too long (six months to two years). And I don't think I can drag on like this much longer...
  5. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    You can try, you're so close now.



    Sorry about the later then usual response.
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