I'm sitting in a supermarket watching people of all types getting on with their lives. I keep saying to myself I bet all these people are happier than me. I'm just wishing my life away right now. I just want to go ahead with plans of self destruction once & for all. The thought of feeling like this for much longer just makes me want to give up. Apart from my parents & kids no one would really miss me & I know all of them are well looked after if I'm here or not. I know I sound defeatist but that's exactly how I feel right now.