I think tonight may be the night...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by what.happened?, Oct 24, 2010.

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  1. I've had thought of just ending it for too long now. I've suffered from depression and suicidal thought for years now. Recently though it's everyday and not just once a day. I think about it a lot. I feel like I can't do anything right. I ruin everything I touch... and this isn't just in my head... I've been told by more than one that I'm poison, I'm evil and that everything I touch shrivels up and dies. I haven't had a positive effect on anybody's life. In fact all I seem to do is make the people around me hurt. I think it will be best for everyone involved in my life if I was no longer involved.

    I think tonight may be the night...

    I feel like no one understands... no one care. No one wants to listen... but then again I have no one to listen. I don't want people to think I'm attention seeking. Its not a cry out for help or attention... I generally don't want to go on. I don't want to live. I can't stand being me... being inside my own head... being alive...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2010
  2. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    i care. i'll listen.
    i'm sorry for all the pain you're going through.
    have you seeked any medical help? talked to someone about this?
    i really want to help you. please don't kill yourself.
     
  3. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    The fact you put this in writing on a public forum tells me there's part of you that still wants life.

    Keep safe.
     
  4. I'm scared to take anti-depressants... I've watched my mother take them for years and she become addicted to them... she goes crazy when she hasn't had them and at the end of the day all the really do is just cover up what your feeling they don't help you.
    Its not just a case of I feel depressed... I hate the person that I am. I've tried and i've tried to change who I am... make myself a better person, not hurt people but it seems that no matter how much I try I always fail and hurt people. I just don't want to keep hurting people but not having anybody in my life makes me feel lonely and more depressed. It makes it harder to keep my mind off things but even when I do try and have people in my life they hang around for a while then I always end up doing something to fuck things up and hurt them in someway and they leave. I'm tried of hurting people but i never do it on purpose. I don't no how to change... i don't even no why i'm the way I am... for along time I thought it was because I was abused at 14 but thinking about it I was depressed before that... my first suicide attempt was at 13 and I also first started to slef harm at this age too. I just don't no what to do anymore... death seems like the only option I have left...
     
  5. needhelp

    needhelp Member

    the above quote says it, you just want to talk about it, because no one listened.

    so how about you give us some more details, why you feel suicidal, we are here to listen and help you any way we can
     
  6. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    anti-depressants worked for me, but if i don't have one i feel a bit off.
    I began self-harm at a young age as well. And i know it's not what you want to hear, but you can't just change yourself. Some things can't change. I wish i could change a million things about me, but i know i can't, so i try to improve myself so that i can be a better person.
     
  7. eme70471

    eme70471 Member

    what.happened?
    i know how you feel and what it is like. i am here to listen. i want to hear your story. i care what happens. i care about you. don't give up. please, hold on. message me if you want/need to talk. there are people here for you.
    -E :hug:
     
  8. Darkness Inside

    Darkness Inside Account Closed

    Hey, I'll listen. I started self harm young too, and had suicide attempts.
     
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