I thought all this would go away on it's own.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thots82, Jan 21, 2011.

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  1. thots82

    thots82 Member

    I've been depressed in the past and I've suffered with anxiety 10 years. I've never felt this bad though. I don't really know why I'm posting because I'm a bit of a negative person and I just expect typical answers like 'you have so much to live for' etc.
    My medication has a lot to do with all of this. I was taking seroxat, I reduced it, I changed it, I went back on it, I increased it, I've gone back to what I was doing before all of this but still I feel worse than ever.
    I'm sitting here alone. XXXXXXXX't happen like that anymore. I wish I was simple and happy like I presume I was 28 years ago. I don't have anymore sleeping pills, which is probably some kind of 'saviour' right now. But there are things everywhere, glass, blades, razors etc. I just wish somebody would take it all away.
    Just random writing from my brain. I feel so bad. I feel stupid because I'm too old for this. People on here and on other places or on tv etc are mostly young and have bad parents etc. I'm almost 30 and still I feel so bad.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i am much older then you and i too feel this way. I just want you to know depression whatever age hurts so badly. You feel all alone but your not okay
    I am here and i want you to know that i hear you. I too think messing with your meds may have brought on this deep depression Is there a way to get into see your doctor phone him/her so yu can get some help. You know the depression will lift some eventually so please hang on okay. for sure get into see a professional maybe try newer meds out there now i have they seem to have worked for me I hope you get some rest okay but if you need to talk to someone i will listen hugs to you
     
  3. thots82

    thots82 Member

    I saw a doctor 2 weeks ago and it was basically agreed that I keep on with what I was taking before changing everything.
    There's no way I can see a counsellor or psychiatrist etc immediately, it takes so long. I've been through all this before. The only way to see anybody is to harm yourself, it's very sad.
    Thank you for the response though. I actually feel slightly better now anyway...this has been happening for days now. I feel suicidal and take a few pills and then try to hide away from it all because I don't want to hurt my family and then I feel fine for a bit and then it all comes back again. Very odd indeed.
    Perhaps I can sleep for a while.
    Thanks
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So glad you spoke to your doctor...many of us have changes in our moods, but it is when we do not get above a feeling of being down that it is concerning...please continue to share with us what is going on...I am sure there are many ppl here who can relate...big hugs, J
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you do get a good sleep It will take awhile for the adjustment in your meds to work again Hold on here okay until you feel better hugs
     
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