I thought i was dealing with my thoughts and voices in my head, but obviously not. i just cant deal with stuff thats happened to me in the past and present, and whats going to happen in the future. my parents keep on thinking that im fine, although they know im not. in the last 3 weeks i have not spent more than 20 mins a day with them, becuase i i know i would hurt them if i stay longer, because i screw everything up. i used to be able to spend all my time with them and not be scared but becuase of recent events, i feel i am a constant screw up and nothing can change it. i cant fight myself anymore, im fed up of doing it, im fed up of losing, and im fed up of screwing other peoples lifes up, just becuase of me. i cant do any of this anymore. ive self harmed, ive done aerosols, and i just keep on thinking to take the bottle of vodka out of my drawer, and take the god damn tablets sitting in my draw. i just cant do any of this anymore. please help me, someone, please just explain to me, WHY DOES LIFE SUCK SO MUCH, AND WHY DOES IT SEEM TO HURT PEOPLE WHO DONT NEED THIS SORTA SHIT IN THEIR LIFES?