• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

I thought I was getting better

#1
I thought I was getting better. I really thought I was learning to control my anger and not blow up. I really did go a long time without letting my anger get to me.

but I fucked that all up. I just got so fucking mad. I was getting so fucking disrespected and I couldn’t take it anymore. I left and when I was alone I destroyed my expensive pair of headphones out of anger. So fuck me. I’m never going to get better am I. I’m always gonna be a fucking failure.

I’m just too fucking stubborn. I knew I was getting angry and I couldn’t just walk away. I had to prove myself. I couldn’t let them win, so I stayed there and kept ramming myself against a metaphorical wall.

I really wish I could just be normal. Normal people don’t have to deal with this shit. Normal people don’t get so angry at simple things. I wish so fucking bad to be able to flip a switch and be a normal person. It feels like I’m in a fucking prison.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
have you seen professional help to deal with this? a therapist or anger management classes may help. i used to have one hell of a temper. over the years i learned how to control it. it rarely surfaces now. you can control this in time.

mike...*hug*shake
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#3
I thought I was getting better. I really thought I was learning to control my anger and not blow up. I really did go a long time without letting my anger get to me.

but I fucked that all up. I just got so fucking mad. I was getting so fucking disrespected and I couldn’t take it anymore. I left and when I was alone I destroyed my expensive pair of headphones out of anger. So fuck me. I’m never going to get better am I. I’m always gonna be a fucking failure.

I’m just too fucking stubborn. I knew I was getting angry and I couldn’t just walk away. I had to prove myself. I couldn’t let them win, so I stayed there and kept ramming myself against a metaphorical wall.

I really wish I could just be normal. Normal people don’t have to deal with this shit. Normal people don’t get so angry at simple things. I wish so fucking bad to be able to flip a switch and be a normal person. It feels like I’m in a fucking prison.
Go easy on yourself @nottheboat23 . My son could have written those same words, he feels so much anger and has had a really hard time controlling it. But he has learned over time. Going to therapy helped a lot and the right medication. I also go off like a volcano if I'm really pushed. It's rare but it is in there and you know, we all have a limit, we all have those emotions so try not to see it as a failure. Maybe trying to keep it in and 'control' it is making it harder? Are you waiting too long before you say or do anything? Have you tried or are you able to talk to anyone about it?
 

LOSTINSIGHT

Well-Known Member
#5
just too fucking stubborn. I knew I was getting angry and I couldn’t just walk away. I had to prove myself. I couldn’t let them win, so I stayed there and kept ramming myself against a metaphorical wall.
Could be worse ,you could have lashed out at someone, that's messy in regards the law.
Sounds like there's issues with you EGO and self esteem.
Have similar problems myself , once my unconscious finally revealed itself ,,there's deep self esteem issues.
Tred carefully and find out your story as a kid .
Take care.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$55.00
Goal
$255.00
Top