I was raped almost 10 years ago. I thought I had forgiven him, but my hate is back. I was 12, and a virgin. I guess that has a lot to do with me not being able to get over it... So, here's the thing. I haven't really thought about it in a long time. I mean, I've thought about it, but I haven't let it get to me lately. But a few days ago, I was drinking with some friends, and ended up getting really drunk. Then, out of nowhere, I start getting flashbacks. I ended up scratching myself up pretty badly. Scratching was how I dealt with it for the first couple of years after the rape. I haven't done it since, until the other night. I scared my friends half to death. Hell, I scared myself! It was like I was still there, like I'd never lived the 10 years since then. I was there, and I couldn't get away from it. Two of my had to sit on each side of me and hold my hands apart to keep me from scratching my entire body up. I don't know what triggered it. I really thought I was ok. I don't know. I just needed to get that out.