I was smiling. I was keeping my thoughts semi-positive. But then something happens. I'm left alone with myself again. The world, it seems has fallen asleep, leaving me and my thoughts awake. Why do I do this to myself? Each night it's the same thing. I keep wishing I wasn't alive, that I wouldn't have to be alone like this again. I really do need help, but since no one besides a handful of friends know, it's hard to look for real solutions. My mom had problems, and I saw what it did to our family. I don't want to become that issue to everyone. There are three people who have kept me alive the past few weeks. Without them, I would have just ended it... But I don't want to continue to be a burden to them. They shouldn't have to be responsible for me. That falls on me and me alone. I'm just not strong enough yet. Each day I gain a little bit more strength, but I feel like it's never enough.