I thought it would help...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Katichu, Dec 29, 2013.

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  1. Katichu

    Katichu Member

    It had been a year since he died in my arms. Exactly a year and yet I was smiling and pretending I was okay because it was my birthday... A few days later I was in school, Spanish class... I noticed cuts on my friends wrist and when I asked about them at first he was reluctant to say anything but when he told me I thought that the relief he talked about would come to me to. He told me many ways that he hurt himself, with a blade, a lighter, his nails. So I used my nails right there, in that class. And I felt the relief. For the first time since it happened the pain was gone. But it only lasted a minute. Before I knew it, my arms were full of scars and new cuts and burns... I was out of control. The relief washed over me once more and the blade caressed my skin and the crimson fluid spilt... There was something inside me that told me that what my friend said... That cutting and hurting myself... It would help me... But the demon got what it wanted... And now I can't stop it... I want the pain to end but I don't know how to make it. Because of this I've attempted suicide over 300 times... Every single time a stranger has come or I woke up covered in blood or vomit... Can I be safe from the demon inside me called depression? I don't know but if I can... Please... Help me find a way... Before it's too late.
     
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