I had a bad time from the last month of last summer to about 3/4 of the way through the school year. The beginning of the summer was the first time I cut. I didn't bother to try and hide it, so I had this long cut along the back of my arm for a few weeks. A few weeks before school started, my parents noticed the scar and sent me to a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants. The medicine made me hyper and I was given a mood stabelizer in addition. After the medicine still wasn't having any good effect(I was still cutting, two attempted suicides, etc.), I was diagnosed bipolar and was taken off anti-depressants. Then I went through a bunch of different medicines because of various side-effects(being awake for 5 minutes a day, shaking so hard I couldn't write, etc.). I was taken out of school for two months. See, all this time there had been tons of times I had almost been sent to the hospital and the last time at this point it had happened, I had been a half hour away from admission when my mom decided we were going to Canada for a week instead. Doesn't make a lot of sense, but yeah...They decided going to school was stressing me out too much. After the two months, I was put in the Home and Hospital program, where tutors come to your house to teach. I insisted I be taken off medication. A few days later, I was hospitalized at a horrible place. I had members of the staff tell me I was stupid, was talked down to, there were paper clips lying around, and it was just all-around bad. I started telling them what they wanted to hear and was released by the end of the week. As soon as I had the opportunity, a few months later, I stopped taking my medicine. My parents wouldn't have found out if a friend hadn't called them. They let me stay off the medicine though, as I had been off of it for 2 weeks already and they hadn't noticed a difference. And then I was fine for a while. Then all of my closest friends went away to music camps for the whole summer, and even though they're back now, they're impossible to get in touch with. I don't trust my parents or my sisters. They're decent people but I just can't trust them. I've spent the summer sitting in my room listening to music, staring at the wall, and cutting. I'm more careful about hiding it though and no one suspects anything strange because I've always listened obsessively to my music. But tonight I just want to end it. They told us ways at the hospital(see how stupid that was?) so I don't think I'd be stopped again.