I told someone, and now he's mad

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by kaitsings87, Jul 28, 2007.

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  1. kaitsings87

    kaitsings87 Member

    I just signed up, and I haven't gotten the confirmation e-mail yet, so the only place I can post is in here. I hope that's okay.

    My ex-boyfriend is suicidal. He's been very depressed since December; even before that. He has told me on several occasions that he has a knife up to his wrists. I talk to him, and he hasn't completed the act yet, but it's the scariest thing when he says that. I knew that something is very wrong, so the other night I called up his mom and talked to her. She said she knew something was wrong, but I don't think she knew it was that bad. I told her just the basics of what he said the night before - that he had a knife up to his wrists for fifteen minutes; that this wasn't the first time it had happened. She needed to know, because he needs help.

    Well, apparently she went into his room last night and said, "She cares about you, and you're scaring her." (About me.) He's now mad at me for saying something to her, because his life is under scrutiny now that his mom knows. I care about him (and love him) so much, and I hate to see him like this. I said I did it because I care and because he needs help, and he said (kind of shouted, really), "No one can help me!"

    I'm obviously more concerned about him being alive - at least he's here to be mad at me, as opposed to the alternative. But what should I do to make him less mad at me? I don't have any idea. I've never dealt with anything of this magnitude before.

    Thank you so much.
  2. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    u r in a difficult position i agree , but fairly recently i shared with my partner the fact that i have and no doubt will continues to have for a while suicidal thoughts i suppose i to was mad and embarresed at sharing that those thoughts were mine! did i want the worl to know? no
    but am i glad he knows yes so hang in there he will be glad u r doing what u r in time it may just take a while
    ur a good person even to have come here for advice pm anytime TC hun he will thank u
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    People tend to become angry because the more people know, the more control over the situation they become. Give him time to adjust to the fact that you felt in order to keep him safe, you needed to tell his mom. With time he should begin to forgive you for going against his wishes. If he isn't, well you did what was right and the best for him, possibly saving his life. You should feel no regrets for your actions. I hope things all work out for you. Take care. :hug:
  4. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    Give it time. He will come to forgive you eventually, and possibly even thank you.

    I'd lay low for a few days, then try and contact him and just keep telling him... you did it because you care...

    ((Sorry, I am having a major ephinany here.))

    I hope everything works out for you. :hug:
  5. kaitsings87

    kaitsings87 Member

    I hope he does - we talked and saw each other, and he seems better (definitely not really mad), but then I talked to him today and he's definitely not pleased. I don't know if it's because of that or something else.

    I just want to help him, I really do. But all he tells me is that I can't help him, that no one can. It's so hard to hear.
  6. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    I believe that now things will only get better. He's not raging mad at you, so on some level he knows that you are only doing this for him so you can help him.

    I know you probably feel like a mess, so a :hug: will probably make you feel better, right?

    Is he getting professional help yet? That will most definately help him.
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