I told

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Special-Agent-Gibbs, Mar 20, 2012.

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  1. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs Safety and Support SF Pro SF Supporter

    Hello Everyone--


    I cant believe I did it but I did I told my favorite teacher about my depression. Here is what I said in a note to her...


    I have been struggling lately and I do not know why it’s nothing to do with school I just have been feeling really down and it’s getting to me. I feel alone like I have no one. This is an everyday thing it never ends. I am getting to the point where I just don’t care anymore I try and try to get this out of my mind I try to ignore it. It works for a little while then it’s back. I am not usually like this and now I just feel alone, worthless and stupid. Please don’t show this to anyone else or at least tell me before you do!
    I would like to talk to you if you have time.

    I gave this to her and then I left the room without talking about it because I had to go to class but she came and found me after I got to class she said that she had to report what the note said to my guidance counselor. I did not like this. When she came back I was scared I thought that I would be in trouble. I was sure of it in my head. She said that I need to go to the School Shrink so I did. She told me as I was going into see the shrink she told me to come see her after I was done. I went back after I was done and she talked to me for a while she told me that she will never give up on me. That she will never "write me off" I didn't believe her I couldn't because when I trust people it always ends in pain I end up cutting in the end. I have a big problem trusting people.

    She told me that I am one of her favorite students and I felt really really bad because I could tell her about my self harm so she doesn't know I want to tell her but I cant.

    Sorry for the long post.
     
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry you feel so low right now. It's hard to feel like that and to feel alone at the same time. The good news is that your teacher apparently cares a lot about you. She didn't just "report" you to the guidance counselor - she talked to you first. That was really good of her. I'm sorry you went into self-harm mode. I can understand that you don't want to tell your teacher about it. You don't have to tell her, but it would help the guidance counselor to know so that she or he can give you the kind of help and support you need to feel better. Perhaps one day it will be the right time to tell your teacher about the self-harm, and perhaps it never will be. Your main concern right now is to start healing and building yourself up again so you aren't depressed and feeling the need to self-harm anymore. One step at a time...I'll be thinking of you. I hope you'll post and keep us updated if you want as you make progress. :arms:
     
  3. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs Safety and Support SF Pro SF Supporter

    Thank you for responding!!

    I know that she cares about me its just the trust part is not something I do. I always get hurt if I trust someone. She said when we first began the conversation that I looked happy I told her that I am that good at hiding it. I told her I am afraid to show who I really am in school. She asked me if I hide my feeling from her. I was honest with her I said Yes when around other people but no when others are not around. I felt bad.......

    again thank you for responding
     
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