I took the first step

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LostMyMind, May 16, 2007.

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  1. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    Towards ending my life today. Now all I do is have to wait about a week or less for it to get nice and potent. I'm a bit drunk by the way, hello everyone.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2007
  2. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    If you OD'ed on acetaminaphen (Tylonal) you really need to seek help. Because with this type of overdose you don't die right away...if you die at all. But YOU DO go into hepatic (liver) failure. It is a very painful way to try and go.

    You still have to option to go to the emergency room to be looked at. Even though suicide can be a wonderful ideal thing. I really doubt that it is. My fear if I killed myself would be that I have to live my life over and over again without being able to change a thing.

    Just please whatever you have done...go to the ER. You may believe that this is what you want but what happens when you end up paralyzed and have to live an even worse life that you no longer have any control of.

    PLEASE GET HELP!!! NOW!!!
     
  3. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the confusion, I am making poisoning for myself. It will take atleast a few days. Right now I am drinking for the first time in about 8 months, i actually have a smile on my face! I feel good right now! Anyways I appreciate the concern but I am fairly certain that I need to die.
     
  4. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    That is the thing...you don't need to die. You are just in a very dark, lonely, scary place where it feels like no one would care if you lived or died. That is not true. I would care. I know how this feels. I go through it pretty much every day of my life. I have tried killing myself many many times throughout my pathetic little life. It usually doesn't work and really don't want to see you try and prove me wrong. I want you to hold on to something...even if it's just . Know that there is someone out here that cares about you and your life.
     
  5. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I am schizophrenic, extremely depressed, have perverted dreams and nightmares. I just can't seem to get any peace in my life. I lost everything! I'm 25 and living at my mom's like life hasn't even began yet! No job, no love, no nothing.. just me sitting on this damned computer everyday. I have always cared about everyone and this world hurts me to think about it. I feel like every problem in this world is my problem. Sorry for rambling, brb going to the store.

    Dink I like you, i read a few other threads with you in it, you seem like a nice caring person.
     
  6. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    I do care! I value human life. Even though I don't really value my own. The thing is I know that you can get through this. I will walk beside you and hold you hand to help you get through it.

    Something that I like to say to sometimes give me a little bit of perspective is...

    "Hang on for tomorrow, because tomorrow is another day. It may not be the best, but at least it's not today.
     
  7. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    The only reason I've hung on so far is for my family. I know that they would be torn to bits for awhile after I'm dead. To me it's just seemed like another obstacle to get over tho. They would recover I'm fairly sure. Me on the other hand, I don't think things will ever get better. I'm on 3 medications now, two of them twice a day. Doctors think they help but to me honestly I don't see them doing any good. I can't just get off them, they would throw a fit!

    I don't know what to do, I feel trapped and going to sleep forever sounds very peaceful. I hope i am still making sense/
     
  8. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    You can't be certain that your family would eventually get over your death. There has to be at least one good thing in your life. Close your eyes and what is the first thing that comes to mind that is pleasent?
     
  9. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    A cigarette. haha :sad:
     
  10. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    It's ok I smoke too...Shame on both of us:biggrin: My state has recently banned smoking...it sucks.
     
  11. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    Hey, I have to take off very soon. I have to be somewhere by 7:00. I have not forgotten about you or given up. I would like to be able to talk to you again. Please be safe. Take good care of yourself and try to do something nice for your self tonight.
    ~Dink
     
  12. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    Sorry for posting drunk yesterday. I do however feel that my life is a pointless and psychotic mess that will never get better. I've been suicidal for months and it grows worse with each day. Kind of decided yesterday before drinking that nothing is worth carrying on any longer, beginning of the end so to speak.
     
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