So i was feeling down.. wanting somone to show they loved me.. boyfriends been on Holiday abroad and i was alone for the first time in 8 months, truely alone. Drinking, i was planning on getting drunk.. i won't sprinkle lovlies on this what i did was wrong i wasn't drunk and i wasn't in anyway believeing i wasn't going to do anything. I met Bob we talked and talked untill near 3 am, then he took me home only we detured on the way, i cheated... in the worst way i cheated. It feel's like part of my has been tore out, and i'm now made up of complete evil. i don't want to be this person.. i don't want to be my sister in law even tho i have been saying that for nearly 5 years.. i done what i said i was never capable of. Turns out i'm half the angel people see me as. Is this all life has to offer? Fear? Pain? I know my relationship was going downhill anyway, but still never did i think i could cheat, i'm disgusted with myself i deserve to be punished. but... i want to do it again.. Who am i? i'm not who i was before. I can't live being who i am now.