i tried again last night...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cookiemonster, Oct 29, 2009.

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  1. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    I was beginning to think to myself, new boyfriend, no parents for a week, no school for a week, that things would be better if not very slightly temporarily.

    I managed to hold off from doing anything for a good four days, although the temptations were there. I gave in last night and only regret it cos i am alive and in one hell of a lot of pain. and get this, i can't take pain meds cos i can no longer swallow them.

    I am in a bad place and don't know how to get out. the bf has been incredibly helpful and if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here. I don't want to hurt him again. he got so worried about me last night. it just feels selfish

    i just don't know anymore
     
  2. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i'm actually starting to think now that i don't just want to die cos of emotional problems but there is an aspect of physical pain in there as well now. i want it to all be over.

    the hallucinations aren't helping. they keep telling me that i'm an idiot and i deserve to die. that i should have died years ago when i first attempted. i want to just block them out but i don't have the strength for it anymore. i'm starting to think that they will be the end of me not me being the end of me
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yoou don't have to suffer from the voices.. Talk to your doctor about skyzophrenia meds.. That doesn't make you skyzo it just means you have some of the symptoms..I'm on meds for them and I am not skyzo..It has helped tremendously..You don't have to suffer from this.. As far as the physical pain, they can probably give you options for that also..I know they have some meds in liquid form..
     
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