I tried again.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ASkylitDrive, Jan 13, 2010.

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  1. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Today, me and my friend were walking from the high school to the elementry school to pick up her sister. We were talking, well she was. I was just staring at my feet. The urge had came suddenly and caught me off guard. We were along the highway and I couldn't even feel myself edge closer to the road. Soon enough I was walking towards the middle. I didn't even know what was happening until I felt my friend grab me and drag me back just as a car clipped my arm. I fought with her, flailing and kicking until I had fallen off the barrier and down the grass hill.

    I'm not sure why I tried...Everything just hit me hard. I miss people I don't talk to anymore, I'm not wanted in school. I can't get a passing grade to save my life and all the social activity I get is getting bullied. I feel so utterly alone, and I guess I just wanted to run to my end.

    This happened just an hour ago, and I'm shaking and numb. I barely remember what was going through my mind. I'm just so terrified, and sad it didn't work.
    I'm also in alot of physical pain. My arm is bleeding but I don't care and I'm scraped and bruised.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hi , I read some of your other posts and you really need someone to help you with your situation I really believe that. You are young and you have such a complicated situation that can get better but is gonna take hard work and like I said the help of a professional. Won't you please contact a crisis help line since you don't know who your doctor is?
    We are here for you so lean on us as much as you like as these repeated attempts are a sign you need support and help.
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    my prayers are with you my very good friend
  4. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    I know.. I need help.
    But I can't talk to people. I am just scared of everyone. The crisis line terrifies me.
  5. Dubstepper

    Dubstepper Staff Alumni

    Hun... i owe you an apology of epic proportions... i seriously do. I've tried to be here for you.. txt me when you can... i know our timezones are a little off... and im trying to compensate... im sorry for what happened, and I hope you will be ok.. I'm always here in txt and chat and pm.
  6. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you didn't get hit, because it may not have killed you and you would have gotten really hurt. I doubt you would have enjoyed the months in the hospital, laying in a bed with broken bones. Or conversely, that you got killed, and scarred the driver for life. That would be pretty terrible too.
  7. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Your friend that fought with you to keep you alive, most likely would go with you to get help. Your friend is a fighter and will help you. You're not alone.

    Post here anytime. It is good for you to do. You are not alone here either.
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