I tried and failed

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by smforero, Jan 23, 2011.

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  1. smforero

    smforero Member

    I tried and failed on cheristmas eve and woke up in the ICU. Those around me are saying it was just a cry for help, I was and still am very serious. The pain I feel is unlike anything I have ever experienced. Each day that I wake up and i am sinking deeper and deeper into that black bottomless pit. Helpless alone confused...
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling like that..I know that feeling and it suks..
    what sort of help are you getting since the OD? do you have meds, Pdoc, therapist?
    who are these people that say it was a cry for help? are they helping you?
    don't give up ok..keep fighting..
    we're here for you..
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You end up in ICU of course it was a cry for help dumb asses it was a cry of pain and sadness Ihope they discharge you with support in place If your meds are not working for depression get a hold of your doctor and get them changed okay. Call crisis and tell them you are very depressed again and need help Sign yourself in okay before any more attempts. Please reach out and get help okay hugs
     
  4. kobie76

    kobie76 Well-Known Member

    Hi smforero, welcome to SF :)
     
  5. Welcome to SF..

    some doctors are just complete Jerks.. I can understand that because i used to have serious suicidal thoughts, end up in the hospital and the stupid doctors say i got Munchausen syndrome.. and i am playing on their sympathy.. Goddamn it..!

    This forum is a good place to seek for emotional support.. Please tell us what led up to your suicidal thoughts and why..?
     
  6. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    I am sorry that your doctors don't believe you are suffering from a real mental illness.

    Smferero, I know it is extremely difficult to deal with depression when people around you don't understand what it is like. I told my grandparents I'm depressed, and my grandmother thinks I should eat certain foods and use happiness as a tool to avoid more depression. She said happiness and a positive attitude are the cure for depression.

    Neither of you are alone. Over time you will continue to find more people who you relate to. I wish you both the best.
     
  7. smforero

    smforero Member

    My husband of 9 years told me the day after thanksgiving that he was done with me and wanted me to move out of our home. He stated that he was tired of waiting for me to be 'normal'. That same day I had to sit his entire family down and explain to them that it was because of my inability to be normal that our marriage was over, and that I would be moving far away. All the while he just sat there saying nothing. A few days later I was on a plane and going to live with family that I hadn't seen or stayed in contact with for almost 20 years. For the first few days I was numb. Completly numb. All I could do was cry and cry and cry. He would call and tell me he loved me and he didn't want this and why couldn't I just be normal? I thought I was normal. Then his behavior became hateful. Calling me horrible names and telling me that I am nothing and I will never be nothing. That he wasn't going to let me come home until I fixed my issues. I begged and pleaded day after day fr him to let me come home and that we would go to marriage counceling and get our selves together. Nope, not interested. Then there would be days of the silent treatment followed by hours on the phone crying and more name calling. Nothing that I said he believed. He said I have never loved him and that if I had loved him I would of been normal and never left him!! Keep in mind he sent me away. I felt myself getting more and more confused and more and more depressed. I tried to call him for severla days and he refused to talk to me or to answer the phone. I tried to let him know that I wanted to die and to please talk to me. His words 'you don't have the balls to do it' so I took a few bottles of pills and ended up in the ICU. When he found out and called me at the hospital he seemed upset. Didn't last long. He said tht I wasn't serious and that I was just looking for attention and sympathy. I wasn't looking for either. I truely wanted to die. How can a person that was supposed to be your best friend and soul mate treat you like shit and when you are begging them to help you to help yourself, just turn and walk away? These two months have been the worst in my entire life. Each day I go to sleep crying and I wake up crying. I hate each day. When will this ever end?
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    This person does not love you he did you a favor asking you to leave My god how cruel his is. You deserve so much better then that. 9 years and to just throw you aside mmm make me wonder what the hell is wrong with him not you. I think it is good in a way now all your time and energy needs to be spent on healing you okay. You get therapy you look after you now focus only on you and when you are strong and well You meet someone new that will treat you like you should be treated. I am so sorry for all the sadness you are in and let the tears come the anger come rightly so but then you move forward okay Hugs to you really this is a new start for you because now this life will be about your healing not about him....
     
  9. Nima

    Nima Well-Known Member

    Maybe God wasn't ready for you to die that Christmas Eve. You should not try to overdose or try to kill yourself either. You need to probably seek out a Therapist or a person who has better experience with what you're going through
     
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