All I got was a day feeling sick in the toilet. The XXXXXX didn't work
I never thought I'd say this but I really wish I had XXXXXXXXX
I feel worse than shit and I just kind of gave up trying to get better. life is sooo not for me
But sometimes we need help. I found that professional help is really valuable.
Have you considered therapy and/or a psychiatrist, to help you find your way through? If you have, can you call either/or now and let them know how you are feeling? If not, a call to a crisis line to get help would be good. Even a trip to emergency room, you life is worth the effort to save.
I hope you can find it within yourself to reach out for help.