I tried everything now knowing there's nothing else left to try and worth it.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Sep 27, 2010.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I've tried everything tried whatever I could to exhaust all angles to know now fully there's nothing left for me to bother with.I know fully now if more than ever I have to go and get this done.Nothing worth hanging on for anymore,just to keep being disappointed that's it.I hope I can get myself up and finally do what I have to,it's for the best and I want to do it no matter what.I'm tired of this exhausting fight that for years on end I've kept with to no avail.

    I've tried everything only to keep struggling like hell,finally to be free from all this hell is just what I can't wait for.I've grown that tired of everything it's unbelievable,I've tried everything tried thinking differently,tried thinking of all else to hang around for but nothing works.So I've come to that full conclusion I have to do what I have to and really I can't wait.I'm that tired now I just can't wait for it to be finally over.I'm really excited to be gone for good I'm so sorry about all this.Don't be sorry or feel bad for me I don't want that I just have to go to peace for good that's all.

    P.S I hope you all finally find peace with everything so much asap and your unwanted pain ends so quick as ever.Thankyou so much as always I can't ever thankyou all enough.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Ace and so sorry you are feeling so awful again...is there anything that has set this off lately? Please know, as always, you are very important to us and quite valued...PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, J
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your reply I think it's just everything the conditions I have and everything else.Pretty much that nothing I do makes me happy at all,struggling and suffering so badly everyday has just been enough really.It's just hell the constant low depression day in day out and that absolutely nothing helps at all,just the overwhelming feeling of ending it is the only thing now that I wan't.I'm sick and tired of trying anymore with anything really.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Glad you continue to talk with us...if you feel you are doing everything and getting no where, maybe discuss with someone you trust, what you are doing and s/he might have a worthy alternative strategy...sometimes we are way too close to the problem/s to see the solution...get the cousel you need and deserve and keep posting...J
  5. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Yeh I've tried doing all that really have spent time in hospiatal told my Dr(Psychiatrist)and Therapist about my constant severe suicidal thoughts and desires.I feel well just is that nothing is changing like it's been for such a long time,I can see why but have virtually tried everything to no avail.Now it seems well to me that it's all over really there's no point anymore in persisting.
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you go through these horrible times, as I said, and please know how much you are cared for here...keep telling us what is going on and please PM me if I can be there for you...J
  7. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks very much for your endless support it goes for everyone here,I've made the decision to end it all as soon as I can sorry I have no will to keep existing pointlessly in this world.
  8. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    Dont give up.
    We need you here to help others in your situation.
    You have a massive amount to offer.

    Finally who actually said you could leave:tongue:
  9. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your kind touching words but I've tried for years to keep on persisting now to the point where I simply can't anymore.If I can build up the courage I'll have to do what I must anytime soon the best moment possible.I can't stand this horrendous low sadness anymore it's all become far too pointless and worthless.
  10. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    ace, i meant what i said in the pm for real...

    no BS Okay?
  11. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    I felt that way 5 years ago after I lost my marriage, home and job. I wished I wouldn't wake up for three years straight. I decided I didn't want to wake up on wet pillows anymore. Everything seemed pointless for me too. In the end it was pointless to be crying about stuff which has happened. You cannot go back and change it so we have to live with stuff we dont like.

    Bottom line is you can get through this trough, which may seem as deep as Marianna's Trench.
  12. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I know you're serious WD i know,Punk I know what you're saying I've been pushing hard for that long now but it's never improved.Many many years of useless hell,I'm just tired of being here I want to go I don't to keep trying anymore it's pure hell and I've grown tired of life so long agao.I can't take anything anymore,the conditions nothing at all it's all too much I just want to be gone.If all goes well I hope I can go tonight I'm sorry.
  13. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    It took me 40 years to find out who I actually am. Then everything collapsed. I made it through the black hole though and everyone on here can too.

    If an autistic single parent living on a run down council estate in London can make it then you guys can do it.

    play some tunes

  14. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thankyou Punk I appreciate what you're saying and can see how well you've conquered things.I just can't see the point in hanging around in a useless existence I've tried that many times to change sorry.It's something I have to get done and asap I'm sorry to everyone I can't keep hanging on anymore.
  15. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    I've been changing my situations as well, moving abroad. It didn't change my thought process. Now I'm a person who has adjusted his thought process. Lots of things piss me off but now I have the mindset to say

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6MlrPESdDI :tongue:

    My mindset is like a ducks back. It can rain on me all it bloody well likes but it is just water off a ducks back. I'm waterproof.
  16. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your help I've been trying and everything else but nothing seems or is helping at all.I hope this is it for me this weekend I can't take this hell anymore.
  17. Caged bird

    Caged bird Guest

    You get to be my first reply here:)
    I know it can be really hard sometimes and I totally agree with the pointlessness of things but when you feel better it doesn't matter that nothing matters other than what you decide. And that when you are feeling like that you can try anything else first. - It isn't going to get worse. Take a holiday, see if you can like things. Give yourself an adventure and make yourself think about what is going on around you rather than focusing on how you are feeling for a while. Get out of the house. Go out with friends. Do anything you can remember likeing even if you don't feel like it or think it can help. - you can't just decide to die because you are depressed, you have to be totally sure it isn't a fixable problem.
    Good luck. Hope you feel better soon.
  18. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your reply yeh it is something that has gone on for a long time and it revolves around my conditions.Because it's been such a long suffering thing has been one main reason also.It's not just because I'm depressed but also because of my conditions and many other things,I've tried doing many things but with nothing helping at all so that's a real big problem.I've become so tired of life that's why I want to or am going to end it really.

    I've tried doing pretty much everything but nothing helps at all you name it,so I'm tired of trying anymore really.
    I just don't want to keep on existing anymore really thank you for caring it does mean alot,I wish I could stay but it's all to much and the decision pretty much has been made sorry.
  19. Live_life

    Live_life Member

    Have you ever tried calling upon your creator? It may sound like a cliche but God does not turn anyone away who calls upon him in sincerity. He will show you a sign and know that he understands you better than you understand yourself because he created you. Why do you not give him a chance and go towards him? After that you can say you exhausted all means.

    What we must realise is that death is not the solution or a quick fix way of ending your problems, stresses or life in general. It is just the beginning and depending on how we lived our life that is how we will be after death. Death is not a never ending sleep for it is the beginning of eternal life and if you take yours then you are doing exactley what those evil thoughts in your head is wanting you to do.

    These evil thoughts in your head are from none other than your enemy satan so will you continue to be fooled and decieved by him? Even psychologists admit that a human is always having negative thoughts constantly saying to do bad things and i guess it effects some more than others. It used to affect me much more until i put my trust, faith and reliance on my creator.

    You enemy satan is only wanting your destruction. Surely you alive in this world for a purpose and it is this purpose that you have not found and that is why you feel like ending it because you have no one to rely on. If you rely on your creator then he will never let you down but humand always will because we have our flaws whereas our creator does'nt for the lord is without flaws.

    [He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. (Quran, 67:2)

    Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned. (Quran, 21:35)

    It is the Qur'an that saved me and made me realise that i am here for a purpose. Before i realised my purpose i did not want to live. Life was pointless and worthless. It still is but i am living for the hereafter. I am wanting to do as much good as i can to please my lord so that i can build my eternal life in Paradise. So live for the next world not this pathetic world.

    Read the Qur'an for yourself and try and understand the message. You have everything to lose by not doing so and everything to gain by doing so:


    If you have any questions at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you

    We shall show them Our signs in the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth. (Quran, 41:53)
  20. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    No I haven't done that basically I've tried exhaustingly for years on end to make it right and have struggled to keep going.Now I just want to end it all sorry it's all too hard i have no energy left inside me,no fight nothing at all.I have no want anymore I'm so tired of being here day after day fighting this.I just want to build up the courage and try to end this asap hopefully sorry.I'm thinking tonight of course if I can I'll have to do this I must.
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