I Tried To Commit Suicide & Failed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ilwmc, May 31, 2009.

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  1. ilwmc

    ilwmc New Member

    I Really Need Someone To Talk To Thats Why Im Posting This I Thought i had The Support Of My best Friend My Cousins To Lift me When I Fall Down But I Was Wrong ... They tell Me Grow Up Or Such A Drama Queen They Got Tired Of Helping Me Each Time I Crawl In My Dark Hole .I Guess They Lost Hope On Me.

    I Am Smart I Always Give Advices To People Who Are In Trouble But Somehow I Dont Know How To Apply That On My Life .

    In January 2009 On My 18th Birthday I Took More Than < Mod Edit Hazel: Methods > Pills I Thought It Will Take The Pain Away But I Was Wrong It Only Brought More To Me & My family .

    When I Look Into My Family Eyes Now & My Cousins I Sense Dissapointment In Me Such A Failure .

    I Survived My Cousin Called My Sister And Woke Her Up At 3 Am They Called Ambulance But Still They Don't Know Why I Did It I Never Gave Them The Chance To Look Into My Hollow Soul .

    Everything Is Messed Up , I Miss My Father Even Though I Never Met Him He Was Captivated When My Mother was pregnant With Me , & Died In Iraqi Prison's On The Kuwait-Iraq War .

    Everything Seems To Pull Me Down Now Im Addicted To Sleeping Pills I Took < Mod Edit Hazel: Methods > In Just 1 day I Dont Know What Im Gonna Do With My Life , I Failed In My Studies Dropped Out , And I Lay In my Bed or 27 Hours, I Dont Eat Nomore My Favorite Cousin Dont Talk To Me Anymore , My Sisters Dont Speak To Me , My Mother I Havent Seen Her For almost 3 Weeks . I Lost My Friends & Everyone I Care About I Lost Care For Anything In Life I Lost Any Last Will To Live .

    Now Im Not Saying That I'll Try To Commit Suicide Again Im Just Saying We're All Evantually Die So I'll Just Live Like A Dead Person Till I Die In The End..
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2009
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear that you have so much going on. Any person would feel pain under those circumstances so you are doing great for hanging in there. Do you have any support or anyone to talk to? If you need someone one you can PM me as I will be on for awhile.
  3. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    You are very young. I went back to college at age 27 and finished my physics degree. It's only when your 36 that the system looks at you as old. So don't worry about college too much except that you need to go back someday.

    Maybe, you can find some other alternative to sleeping pills. Actually, after my brother died when I was 24, I had problems with my sleeping for 3 years with headaches. The only thing that worked was running and bicycling. I started by running 16 minutes everyday. You sleep more for the first 2 weeks, but it solved all the sleeping problems.

    Also, the running is theraputic. It helps cope with the physical and mental depression. I have an feeling that many of the running folks had some previous mental worries before they started running.
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I am very sorry to hear of your situation. I did not get much support from my family either. A couple friends were helpful at first but became quite tired of my "complaining" and depression pretty quickly.

    Is there any form of support outside your family you can look to.? Can you get anti=depressants in your country. If so, what kind of anti=depressants have you tried?
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