I am in a lot of physical pain. I have seen several doctors, but none of the prescribed treatments are working for me. The past three months especially have been unbearable. I can barely function, and I have thought about suicide often. But I have always had hope. But in the past few weeks, I have lost hope even. Last night I did not want to be in this world anymore. I wanted to end the pain. I made the decision to take my life. First, I threw out all my personal journals where I have contemplated suicide. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> I then got into my car, and started driving away, and a cop pulled me over, and I got arrested for drunk driving, and spent the night in jail. The cop was asking me if I 'learned' anything from what I had done. And in my mind, I was like .. yeah I have learned that I need to plan things better so I don't end up unsuccessful and alive. I really wanted to die last night. I was so dissapointed when I woke up this morning. I want to die. I dont want to be in this world anymore. That is my story. I am considering trying again within a week or so. But waiting for a <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>.