i tried to kill myself last night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rghmf, Sep 27, 2016.

  1. rghmf

    rghmf Member

    first of all: forgive my english, it's not my first language
    i haven't tried to kill myself since i was 17 years old (i'm 21 now), and i was so close to death this time
    <mod edit - methods>
    just when i was sitting down, ready to <mod edit - methods>, the son of the women whose i share the appartment arrived. <mod edit - methods>
    anyway. i stopped it, and <mod edit - methods> i decided i was going to do it again today
    but so much happened today. the boy i like messaged me and told me he is making a playlist for me (i know it's stupid lol he's just a boy, but he makes me fell so much better)
    and today a university's friend said "don
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2016
  2. rghmf

    rghmf Member

    don't die* sorry. the message went earlier.
    and i don't know what to do. i really, really want to die. and the image of me dying last night doesn't creep me at all. kind of makes me with he hadn't arrived so i would be dead now
    but today i'm just not strong enough for it.
    the doctor diagnosted me with bipolar personality, and it kind of makes sense, everything i feel, it has an explanation and it's not normal, so i can fight it.
    but i'm just not strong enough
    i don't know if i'll survive this night
     
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're still alive. Please don't give up. Keep talking to us. We're here. Are you safe?
     
  4. rghmf

    rghmf Member

    I think so. I'm very lonely here but i think i'll meet up with a friend later. Mayber I'll talk to her about it, but I'm not sure I'll be brave enough.
     
  5. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Please tell them what's going on. Tell your dr too. I know it's hard but this way they can make sure you're safe. Or go to the nearest hospital so they can help as well. Here if you want to talk as well.
     
  6. rghmf

    rghmf Member

    I slept the whole day, and my body is so fucked up idk what to do.
    I'm fine now, but I know it only takes one wrong word to trigger the suicidal me and it's starting to scare me... I have a test tomorrow and I haven't learned anything I was supposed to do and my reaction to everything is thoughts of suicide.
    I know i need to hold on to this night, but I don't know how
     
  7. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Hugs - Please try to hold on. Have you told anyone your thoughts that are local? Here for you. Don't give up.
     
  8. Wiltingone

    Wiltingone Well-Known Member

    How are you doing? I know what it's like to react to everything with thoughts of suicide. Its not easy to get through. Please keep sharing with us.