I tried to kill myself last night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Grim Reminder, Sep 30, 2007.

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  1. Grim Reminder

    Grim Reminder New Member

    Last night i decided that it was time so i wrote a suicide note and got my rifle and pulled the trigger... and nothing happened so i tried it again and again but it just wouldn't fire i thought i was going to rust the barrel after as long as i had that rifle in my mouth.

    I have had alot of problems lately. I graduated 5 months ago and since then my mother has screamed at me for 12 hours a day to get a job even though i don't have a car and i live in a small town where there are no jobs then i tried to join the navy to get away from her but i cant lose enough weight to get in.

    Today when i told her i probably would not be able to lose the weight she said i have 2 days to find a college or she would kick me out and i would be homeless.

    i just don't see any other way out of this. I'm just a problem for everyone I'm useless even in my suicide note i wrote that i was sorry about the mess and that i was only doing it to make everyone else's life easier.
  2. glacier3141

    glacier3141 Member

    I didn't know the weight requirements in the Navy were that strict. Is there any other organization you could join that would be more accepting in that regard?

    Maybe you don't have a car, but do you have public transportation where you live, like buses? Perhaps you live in a small town but anywhere where there's a community, there has to be some kinds of jobs. Have you tried giving it a shot?

    If life isn't working out where you live, are there any relatives or friends who live elsewhere that you could hang with for a time until you get your feet solidly on the ground?

    I'm really sorry to see things have been so troublesome for you in recent times. I'm just trying to think of alternatives for you to try before you feel compelled to hold that rifle again. Hang in there bud.
  3. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    You could get on ssi. and get government housing, to get a decent place for cheap.
  4. incognito

    incognito Well-Known Member

    Hey grim, please tough it out, and don't say you're useless because you're not. You've accomplished something - you graduated right? What did your mother mean by find a college in 2 days? Maybe continuing your education isn't a bad idea. I'm not that great at consoling people, but I'm here :smile:
  5. I'm sure your mom was over exaggerating, my friends mom did the same thing, she just wants you to succeed, I highly doubt she would kick you out as well? where else would you go? You are not going to succeed in anything like that... Shes just trying to get you motivated is all.
  6. unspectacular

    unspectacular Member

    If you're going to kill yourself, at least do it after you've been kicked out.
  7. hartmanmp

    hartmanmp Member

    dont say that...things get better, i know, everyone on this forum knows. i know its hard but please try to keep you head up
  8. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    unspectacular, that was a spectacularly stupid remark. Why should he kill himself after he'd been kicked out? What is the reasoning behind such a suggestion?

    Grim reminder, it seems the time of separation from you mother has come. Time to leave home and saying good-bye to the convenience and comforts your parents home has offered you for the greatest part of your life.

    Try to negotiate with her a time frame in which you are actively looking for work. Your prerogative is now to remove yourself from an impossible situation (living with your mum under one roof) that much she made clear to you.

    Look for some work and as soon as you have found something, negotiate another time deal with your mum. She needs to know that you are truly on your way of becoming independent (eventually it has to happen). Informing her about all the efforts and steps you are taking towards that goal will pacify her and you may have a prolonged basis (your home) which you can operate from. Communication and negotiation is the key. You give her a little bit, she will see that as proof and will give you more time.

    Don't chose the shortcut towards your independence using a shotgun!
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