I tried to make things work

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Blackbird33, Jul 16, 2012.

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  1. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    and find a reason to keep living but it's all just backfired. I know it's going to hurt my family (those who care) but I just can't take this suffering anymore. I haven't set a date but now more than ever I know it's time to take my life.
     
  2. Lps

    Lps Well-Known Member

    Blackbird. I feel you. Life can be very painful. Is there something in particular that's really making you crazy right now?
     
  3. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    I tried to reach out to other people and was pretty much ignored and rejected each time. There's nothing here for me
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, are you getting any professional help? That can help a ton :)
     
  5. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    I know it seems like I'm just some melodramatic attention seeker but I really have no other place to turn. And yes I've sought professional help but also don't want to be committed to a mental hospital. This past year I've really been struggling and part of me does want to live and get better. But I've lost hope because it never seems to turn around and have no support system in my life.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well, you do need a support system of some sort and if that means going into a hospital for a while then so be it. I did it but didn't want to and guess what? I met the love of my life in there lol. I don't think you're an attention seeker at all, I think you're really hurting and need some place to turn to, have you thought about talking to the samaritans, they can be a great support.
     
  7. triedtoomanytimes

    triedtoomanytimes Well-Known Member

    I'd go with what CocaCola says, give Samaritans a call to get you over the rough times, as many times as you need them. In the meantime, keep posting here and talk to people on here
     
  8. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    I think Good Samaritians are based in the UK I'm in the US. I really wish I could just die in an accident so to spare my family knowing I committed suicide.
     
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Blackbird, I'm sorry to hear things feel so bad for you atm. Keep reaching out here on SF - it's great that you have done that. If you want to call a distress/suicide line in the United Stares, you can try the following: 1-800-SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433 and 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255.

    If you feel like it, tell us more about what has been happening to make you feel so badly. It sounds like people have disappointed you. Sometimes we have to practically knock on some people's noses for them to notice we're reaching out. Don't give up. You have put a lot into not giving up. You sound like a good, sensitive person that deserves to give yourself another go at making things work.

    Please stay safe.
     
  10. Psychosomatattack

    Psychosomatattack Active Member

    I feel exactly the same way. That won't help you, but... yeah. Just wanted to say that. I am sorry people get to this point though, it's so sad and then we are labeled emo freaks. Maybe if they lived in our shoes for a while they wouldn't be so quick to say that...
     
  11. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I am sorry your struggling and you feel so down, I dont think your seeking attention, i hope you realize people here do care
    for you and want to see you get through this. dont give up hang in there
     
  12. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    I think today is good enough as any day to end my life.
     
  13. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    Things are getting and actually getting worse but right now I think it would be too hard on my sisters. Two of my sisters are the only people that give a crap about me and the only reason I didnt my life last night was because I thought of them. But fuck everyday I'm standing at that edge.
     
  14. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same boat, everyday I struggle with isolation, rejection and abandonment. I have decided that if I go I want to understand why suicide is the only choice I feel I can make. I also want to understand fully how it will affect those who love me and I want to understand how the fuck life got so bad. Let's face it a big part of the problem is that so many people around have got the slightest fucking clue about what were going through and so either ignore or run away from helping. This is the last 100 yards of pain I will run.

    I sincerely hope that you hang on in there. What you feel is a gift to those who also suffer because you know what it's like and how to touch their souls and let's be honest that is an extremely rare quality.
     
  15. Senses

    Senses Member

    I don't post really ever....but just want you to know that @Blackbird33; I relate. I relate because I don't want to let down the "ones"that truly DO care. Yet, I want to honor them as well as do for me even in the uncertainty. Can you make a minute to minute, hour to hour process?

    My edge is more an endless abyss, but I cannot ever deny that I keep wondering what if in that abyss is a catch all? Something that will help me see, be or realize that the next moment might be a moment different; MUCH different from this agonizing I happen to feel.

    Please do what you can to honor you and don't stop believing that there might be/may be/IS actually more. Perhaps this will help you in whatever way.

    Prayers and thoughts to you @Blackbird33. You've certainly touched me and I am always grateful for this.

    Please continue to reach out. In whatever realms you are comfortable.

    Light and hopes of peace to you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 18, 2012
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