I tried, maybe i wasnt trying hard enough? But its not important anymore. My life will never improve, false hope will only get me so far. So i will try to gain control by making the only decision that matters. So if i dont post anything here after tomorrow then you will know that i have regained control, and that i am free. But i will probably fail, or pussy out at the crucial moment, and will crawl back here in shame, until the next time.