metaphorically speaking. why is it everytime i'm on the brink of letting her (my ex) go a thought will pop into my head, a thought that i can't even remember now, which brings back all the feelings i had for her. Now i can't get her out of my head again, she is inescapable. *sigh* i feel stupid talking about how i feel, i've never done it before not about my negative feelings. I was so close to self harming today, the closest since i actually self harmed back in November. I hear people say that time heals a broken heart, it's been 4 years and i still feel exactly the same now as i did back then, how long do i have to wait? Is there something i'm suppose to do? how do i let her go? I've heard getting into another relationship might help but....i don't want another relationship, to be honest i don't even want to get back with my ex i just want to be part of her life. I want to see her smile again when she sees me, I want her to know that i'll forever be there for her, that she has someone to lean on when things get tough, i want her to believe me when i say those things. However i feel selfish, i should just be saying i want her to be happy with or without me being in her life. I'm not very good at explaining my feelings and i'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, tomorrow i'll probably feel completely different. :sad: Took me half an hour to write this and nearly an hour to decide whether to send it. :unsure: Can't believe my social anxiety expands across to the internet even though no one knows who i am.