I'm sorry but I have been feeling low recently. I thought my withdrawals are over cause my headaches are gone but my mood has been scattering around. I have many times told myself that "it shall pass," but I feel so focus on it like I feel so impulsively low. I have been working really slow with the stuffs I love to do and have been watching dead eras and thinking about the past a lot. I have been feeling it, so suicidal, I despise saying it and I am so scared to tell my mental health professionals. For one, they scared the shit out of me when they ask, "do you have any suicidal thoughts?" I'm always lying and gone speechless because I know I would be lock up and I don't want that. I don't know how to express it for help without being caught. And SF is the last person for me to say it. This is my first time I expressed it here since I got out of it. I don't know how to get help.