I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and start to do something. I started to study for school again,I also started to practice sport so I don't get fat again and I am starting to socialize more. Its still hard and sometimes I want to quit,but I noticed that If I don't think about the future,then I feel much better,because If I start to think what ill do when ill be older,I realize that I will be a looser,and I feel bad again.So I will just take it step by step.I will focus on studiyng for school and on socializing for now and not think about anything else.Of course,the problem that I have with girls and their sexuality hasn't changed,and sometimes I think and start to hate them a lot.But I try not to think much about it. I don't know what I'll do in the future,probably i'll still be a looer,but complaining about it wont do me any good. Well,I still know that I will never have sex or a gf,but I try not to think much about it also. Many might not know what the hell am I talking about,so here is my original story: I'll say it in short terms: I was fat,and never socializing.So I lost weight,but even if I looked normal,I was still staying indoors all day.During the years I had 2 suicide attempts and been depresed many times.I also hate girls for having sex(don't ask why,I don't know either),religion(because my sister killed herself because of the fear of hell) and humanity in general. Yeah,and I hate my life a lot.But I try to change something in my life.I want to get a job when I'll finish highschool,maybe to buy an apartment someday,and just stay with my PC indoors all day.I will never have sex or gf(as I said about 10 bilion times in most of the threads that I made) and I will probably have a lousy life,especially because I am shy and I dont socialize well.But I can at least make my life better then it is now.