I wasn't banned or anything. I just drifted away and have since forgotten my old username. Things have been bad as of late and I thought I'd come back. I'm 44, forced to live with my folks because of the recession, can only get temp jobs and can't save any money because my car needs to be repaired every few months. I drink too much, eat too much, hate myself, am very lonely and sometimes want to die. The only thing that stops me is that my family would be hurt, but I feel like I'm hurting them all the time anyway just by being such a problem to them. I would do anything to have them be proud of me, but I have no confidence and am so scared and depressed to make any move because I'm scared and tired of failing again. I try but I fail. I am a failure at everything. I'm trapped and I can't get out. Somebody please help me.