First poster here..... I used to think I knew why I was unhappy, but now I do not, I am just depressed all the time. I thought that bringing my grades up would make me feel better; I drink much less and stopped smoking marijuana. But I realized that I was depressed for some time, just pushing it down with drugs and alcohol. I finally stopped those things, thinking I would be happier, only to realize I am not. All I want to do is get high, but I know that is not the right thing to do. The only reason I feel bad about suicide is the people, mainly family, that I will hurt terribly. (If I had no family, I would be dead) I mean, whats the point if I am not happy. Sure I may not kill myself tonight, but if I feel this way, its only a matter of time. I want to be happy for myself and not because of drugs (prescription anti-depressants).