I Walk Alone, a poem

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by NotThisLife, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. NotThisLife

    NotThisLife Well-Known Member

    This is an original of mine, posted a while back on a completely different forum, and it's gone through some minor tweaks here and there since. I post it here because it's me. It's very real, it's not like my English writing where I focus more on style than substance. I wrote it in my mind on night years ago on walk. I think it was around 3 am, and I was out clearing my head when it came to me. It was a while, probably several days at least, before I put it down on paper and made it a formal poem

    I Walk Alone, by Dean:

    I walk alone, my hair blown by the autumn breeze

    As skeletal leaves tap dance around my feet

    I have always walked alone, drifting without a place to call my own

    Just me, and my hollow footsteps resounding in the empty street

    In my heart is a void, my lone companion, and it threatens to be my end

    And drown whatever I could have been, for some broken wings cannot mend

    My gaze drifts to the barren wasteland inside my heart

    As I sit alone, an arcuate statue silvered by the moon

    But then I move on, and continue my solitary path

    And wish for my end to manifest itself soon

    Always moving, silently, through the countless years

    For I walk alone, always and forever alone
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 13, 2010
  2. Twinkle ☆ Twinkle

    Twinkle ☆ Twinkle Well-Known Member

    I liked it. I feel like I can empathize with it.
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    well done..
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    very well depicted emotions felt and sadness excellent write
     
  5. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    i like this a lot <3
     
  6. NotThisLife

    NotThisLife Well-Known Member

    Thanks folks :)

    I appreciate people reading my work, this is not a very formal piece but it's very real and I thought that would be appreciated. Of course, this is very old and looking back on it it looks kind of amateurish. But whatever the lack of formality is compensated (I hope) by the overall feel and tone. Though I have allowed myself a few small edits over the years, I try to keep as close to the original wording as I can, because it takes me back to that night. When I read this I can still feel the autumn wind in my hair. It had rained early that day and though a soft moisture clung to the air the leaves had dried enough to sound like they were dancing in the street, and I can still hear the wind whisper through the cedars on my Grandma's property. Those were her favorite trees, and mine as well. So much has changed since this night, it almost feels like a different life. My Grandma is long gone, her property turned into apartment buildings years ago. But whenever I read this for just a small moment in time this night exists again. The trees are still standing, no apartments have been built where they once stood yet, my Grandma is still alive. Though I was sad that night, this peom is no longer sad to me, it reminds me of a time in my life I wish still existed. I know I'm being melodramatic, but I have always tried to capture moments in time with my writing. Often I fail, but on the few occasions I succeed it's the closest thing to magic I know.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2010
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