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i wanna be with Michael

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by staystrong, Jun 27, 2009.

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  1. staystrong

    staystrong New Member

    I love Michael Jackson with all my heart , he was and is everything to me.
    Without him living on this existance i cannot cope.
    It was a constant source of peace for me to know he was enjoying his life with his children.
    there is nothing to look forward to.
    There have been many reports of fan commiting suicide and im going to be another one.
  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I think you have an unhealthy obsession and would probably benefit from therapy.
  3. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I understand where you are coming from. I want to be with him too but I don't think suicide would be the answer.

    I just figure, one day, when its my turn, I will.

    RIP Michael...
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Well, you seem to place a lot of importance on him. What do you think he would've wanted for you? Do you think he'd be happy to know someone killed themselves because he died? Or do you think he'd want you to wait until it happened naturally? Please do not harm yourself. :hug: Have you considered therapy?
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum,
    I agree with Junkie,please seek counselling. :hug: I'm sorry you're feeling this way. There's lots of us here that can relate, feel free to PM me anytime x
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you feel so badly. I've suffered the same thing with Kurt Cobain. But i realised that killing myself isn't what he would have wanted, some people did and it was a tragedy, he would have been ashamed to think he had caused that. As would Michael Jackson. In the end, i contented myself with buying everything written about Kurt and all his posters and that's helped me deal with the fact that, in my eyes, one of the greatest musicians is dead. It's probably a little unhealthy to be so obsessed with one musical person, but so many people are, it's kinda natural. Maybe you could try what i did? Buy lots of stuff, read about him, put up posters so you'll remember him. But don't kill yourself. When your time comes you'll be with him, but that time isn't now and he wouldn't want it to be now.
  7. gitana

    gitana SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Please don't kill yourself. Michael, as many have stated here, wouldn't have wanted anybody to do this. His music touched many all over the world.. the words he sang.. the concerts, his legacy of wanting people to love each other around the world.

    I agree with Lena.. and everyone's input here. You can remember him by maybe creating something that will help you deal with losing him. I know it is extremely sad for many people.

    In a grief recovery class I went to dealing with many issues of loss in my life, we spoke about how to deal with losing people, anybody, in one's life.. and since Michael Jackson meant so much to many people, the words of his songs
    reached out and touched many people where they are at in their life.. I know he will be greatly missed. So, the idea is maybe making a memory for the life he gave to so many and a tribute for you to deal with it.. Whether it be maybe planting something in his honor for him for the happiness he brought to you or writing about him, collecting, etc. It is a sad day for many people..(the papparassi doesn't make it easy because of all, mostly false reports wanting to have the last word) Turn off the tv and radio then.. it is way too much and they love to stir up so much.. not helping people.. He wouldn't want that.. I don't believe. Yes, he was considered something more to many people, but he was also a human being, and for whatever reason, as sad as it is, it is a shock to many..but.. hon.. he would never want people to remember him by killing themself for him... Please talk to someone.. Do you have a therapist? If not, please and there is no shame in it, find one.. and we are here for you.. please please keep talking to us here. Okay? He would want you to remember what he gave to everyone.. I remember what I was doing when he came out with the moonwalk.. and other.. Share his memories.. maybe it would be good to set up a tribute here for Michael Jackson Fans to share and really talk about their feelings, their thoughts, their happiness, and sadness, etc. you know?

    I remember many in my time who suicided Famous people or accidental.. or died... movie stars.. legends, in my time, Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, several
    others the same time when young, I thought at the time, omg.. their music said a lot to me .. and there was nobody to talk to.. and yes, some people,
    killed themselves.. however, I learned to see them as people also.. (although since I was young, 5, I was suicidal, self destructive) and here to tell about it.. Sometimes from their own pain, the music they share to others, people can relate too.. and it means alot.. In my mom's time, it was others.. who
    shocked the world, Hank Williams, James Dean, you probably don't know them
    and some killed in other accidents.. I grew up on.. thinking that death was
    and yes, I remember Kurt Cobain.. then Heath Ledger.. Farrah Fawcett, her vivacious struggle to go through so much pain to live.. And where did that strength come from... Just another example..

    As I stated, I have had much loss in my life. My boyfriend of 7 years, I loved, was tragically killed on a motorcycle accident.. Someone hit him.. I remember years ago, he dragged me to Star Wars when it came out.. I am not one for standing in long lines at all.. I mean, 2 to 3 hours?? for a ticket.. It was important to him.. okay.. however; he was sweet and let me go sit in the car until he got almost to the front to get tickets.. I planted something in his name (during this time, I went to 5 funerals in 4 months, one was the best friend I ever had, who had suicided) anyway, to honor Dennis love for life and legacy, I did some special things.. I didn't think I would ever make it past that time in my life at all.. lot of things remind me of him.. I remember him talking about all the episodes of Star Wars coming out in the future, and I remember thinking, well, it is long way off.. doubt it will happen because the people doing this, George Lucas and whoever, most likely wouldn't be here years later, I never told him that) and now, as the new Star Wars pics have come out, I say, "Dennis, you wouldn't believe it, people are actually camping out for tickets.. however; if you did that, I would shoot you myself.. lol.. figure of speech.. laughing.. because he was serious about all these episodes of Star Wars and we saw 3 of them before he died.. he was excited) Oh, and to pay full price.. no way.. but he was paying, okay.. but me, go to economy hour later when it died down later... no way pay the price they were asking.. but he did.. I mean, I can wait.. It isn't that he was obsessed with this.. he did alot of other things in his life so I don't want you to get the wrong idea that Star Wars movie was his life.. I use to tease him about it.. he loved space and science fiction and non fiction.. and much more..)

    I know this is just an example.. however; I have also felt the sadness greatly by other stars and musicians who have died unfortunately...

    I love music very much, especially when it speaks to my heart where I am at.. I feel a loss that Michael Jackson is gone.. and now the horrendous shit whatever the tabloids, news is saying and so much.. Take a break from that if you can.. Try not to over obsess.. not a good thing.. not worth killing yourself over hon..

    As Janet Jackson stated to us,' he was an icon to us, but to them, he was family." Yes.. many have put him on a pedestal, because of how he may have helped them through a difficult time,/life or more.. through his music.. and it may be natural.. however; people forget that he was also a man.. a human being with feelings.. and sharing about him is probably the best thing one can do to handle the tremendous grief like losing a member of the family. Would you kill yourself if a family/relative/friend died? Life is extremely difficult especially when if one is young.. it isn't a promised rose garden.. or that we all won't have super bad days, or bad days, etc. it is extremely difficult to live on life's terms and then for whatever reason, something happens to shake us up and need to maybe take a look at it.. and one may not know how to do that.. So, let's talk about this.. Please keep giving us a chance to be there for you.. support you.. I know how I feel at a lost for words to comfort right now.. for those who are in this position because yes, Michael reached a lot of people.... for many many years.... and it hit everyone hard.

    Love always,

  8. History

    History Well-Known Member

    how i wish i took michael's place instead i.e. he lives on and I get what I want i.e. death.
  9. shades

    shades Staff Alumni


    Thank you for your post. We share the same era basically. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss but the post was so well said and informative.

    I hope you can find some peace!

    TO: STAYSTRONG: Please heed the words of those who have posted before, save for the other party that wants to leave. Everybody else has given you sound advice.
  10. bright1

    bright1 Well-Known Member

    I don't know if this is going to be helpful or not.

    Please remember that the person you are missing and who you want to join in the afterlife is not real. The Michael Jackson you knew was manufactured by publicists and the media; the intent was for you to love him as much as you loved his music, so you would buy his music. It's not who he was.

    Try to imagine that you get to the afterlife and find Michael. I don't think it would take very long for you to realize that you don't even know him, really. He wouldn't at all be the person you've been reading about and watching on television. And there you would be, dead, and not even with the person you want to be with.

    Stay alive and nurture the memory of you have Michael Jackson. Remember him as the person you believe that he is. It's something you can only do if you're alive.
  11. ramozk1

    ramozk1 New Member

    He wouldn't want that. Please don't do it. We're here for you and love you
  12. Rolo555

    Rolo555 Well-Known Member

    for those feeling sad he died. Michael Jackson survived for 50 years. Im sure you can too. Jackson always being watched in his life. He never had a normal date when he was young. People always watched him.

    The Law treated him like dirt. People calling him weird cause he loved animals and kids. Made songs like Heal the World. If there was one person who had God in him, Jesus like it was him. And oh yeah, they called Jesus weird too back then.
  13. bluesun

    bluesun New Member

    Since he died I have been feeling that he was a tragic hero. And I am sure lots of us would empathise with him. I don't know if he abused children. But what we know is he was very, very depressed since 1993. He took sleeping pills, drugs, painkillers...he gave up eating. He was completely down. So I wish I died because I am very depressed too, I feel like I don't deserve to live. I have had a hard life too like Michael (all of us here have). I wish I died to give him company.
  14. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    Michael was an icon, now he's dead but he's in many ways immortal. His music will live forever, remember that.
  15. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    whatever your reason for not wanting to live, it shouldn't be because of another person - we are individuals and others can help us or hurt us but looking at this another way, if you were to kill yourself, it would be as though it was MJs fault.

    i think perhaps you should speek to a therapist - find a reason as to why you idolise MJ so much. please keep with us :heart: triggs xx
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