i wanna cry

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by deathangel101, May 23, 2012.

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  1. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    why can't i stop the rain
    why can't i stop the winter
    why can't i stop crying on the inside
    i scream and no one hears my cry
    the rain drops go drip drip drip.....
    all day long are my tears building up
    i have nothing i can do
    i ask who did this to me and everytime its the same answer
    my dad and brother
    those creeps raped me at 6
    how could they why would they
    i was just a lil girl i didnt know anybetter
    why would they do that to me
    i hate them with all my heart i can't believe he would do that to his own daughter
    HATEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    THEMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    SOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
    MUCHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I cannot answer your questions deathangel101, I can only remind you that you survived and now you have help and support.
    Your best revenge will be a long and happy future.
     
  3. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    thanx i appreciate the advise
     
  4. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean when you scream and no one hears you. People dont see the little clues I leave hoping that someone who can relate will come along. They are subconcious in nature. Its worse when you know everyone knows somethings wrong and dont ask. And when they do notice you cant admit it. So you sit and wait for someone who understands until finally you explode and push everyone even further away. Then they wonder why everything u do is awkward. Why talking about sex seems to leave you nervous. Em yeah..... Maybe, its not like that for you I dunno. Dont give up u will have cope one day at tome for now dont hole back the tears
     
  5. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    Theres one more thing you need to know living to get revenge doesnt make it go away beciase your hapiness becomes dependent on there suffering. Its much easier to live to gain what you did not have to start with a family who loves you. Thats where you plant yourself in the future you prepare so that the family you have has what u did not. I hope I havent offended you, I hope I helped.
     
  6. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    thanx gimiq that was some great advise and i appreciate it
     
  7. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    Your welcome and thanks for sharing. It reminded me I wasnt alone. If theres awau to add people to friends add me, and if you need to vent pm or whatever. You should be proud. You had the courage to speak up.
     
  8. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    thnx i just hope things will get better
    don't worry im here for you too
     
  9. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    Thanks. Do they have you on a script yet to help your mood? Its better to have a doctor gove you a mood stabalizer with a known effect then to start self medicating. It gets well to be honest at first the memory will get fuzzy, u may stop thinking about it for a bit. There always be thinhs that trigger memories, it helps to reassociate the trigger with a different memory. A happy one. U do it be regonizing the similarities then savinh the 2 memories as one hole associated by there similarities. Um.... The other stuff, my phone is going to cut me off soon so this might be a double post. Oh and dont lose hope that you will have the safe and loving home you wanted from the start.
     
  10. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    thnx and yea i been on meds for 7 years now zoloft and trileptal
     
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