I think I already gave. I can't live in that reality shit. I'm tired of being hated by those supposed to love me. I'm tired of loving who I was supposed to hate. Let them live in your little world where there is only the Lady GaGa songs, the forced cheerfulness of "brazilian color bands" your reality and full of color and brightness. I know this world is shit. A complete fucking screwed. What is the purpose I'm still here? Someone can tell me? Because all I have done these last years is suffering. Sometimes I feel a bit selfish to suffer when I have everything I want, as people work hard to achieve everything in life and are still happy. But I can not get off my chest this rancid, choking cry that (which I force myself to hold on because I know that when the first tear out, the others will follow suit and I'll not stop), this feeling that everything I miss my life here and that makes little or no difference. My parents want to pay a therapist 4 me. They want someone else to do in two or three months what they did in eighteen years. They want to pay someone to hear me, just so they can put their head on the pillow at night and sleep at ease, knowing that there aren't good parents, but they certainly are paying someone to be better. That's enough! I want to die (and then you will can live).