I wanna die.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DawnB, May 17, 2011.

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  1. DawnB

    DawnB Well-Known Member

    I can't take it anymore. Everything has gotten so bad for me today, and then I found out the band that I wanted to see all year has canceled. Someone please help me. I can't live anymore.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    do you want to talk about what happened today? what's going on?
  3. DawnB

    DawnB Well-Known Member

    Job searching has been unsuccessful. I hate my town. My mother will not leave me alone. I'm too stressed out, and the one thing that I was looking forward to this summer is gone. I have no reason to live now.
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    what is your mother doing?

    family therapy?

    if you told her that you are feeling suicidal, would she leave you alone or just flip out? maybe if you told her that you are really stressed and that you need her to back off?

    I think that things can be better for you in the future, you just have to get through this.

    I hope that things get better soon!

  5. DawnB

    DawnB Well-Known Member

    Mom refuses to do family therapy. She's just bothering me, about doing this or that.

    I told her that, and she would brush it off and say that she's stressed too.

    I can't get through this. I'm already terrified of being home, and I have no reason to move on.
  6. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    i've been there...no reason to go forward...i always created reasons (like, next week, i'll go to my favorite restaurant...or i'll watch my favorite movie...blah blah blah)...

    don't think so far ahead...try just taking it one day at a time, and if that's too much, you can just take it hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute...whatever gets you through...no need to think so far into the future...

    don't worry about getting a job...something unexpected will come along...you're not a failure...you need to accept that you are doing the best you can possibly do...if you could do better, you would do better...trust that...

    is there another band you like that's playing a concert this summer? is there something next semester that you are looking forward to?

    don't think so far ahead...okay? and talk to us if you need anything...
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Oh boy can I relate about parents! Parents can be over protective and over bearing, but the truth is she wants to help and doesn't know how to. My dad believed that yelling at me and telling me that I was going to grow up to be a worthless peice of s***; would some how motivate me to become a better student. Parenting is hard, and people are so flawed..especially parents. Its a inner war with them; I know cause I am one. Bieng a parent is like walking on one of the ropes you see in a carnival. You have to stay balanced and if you go too far one way or the other you going to land on your face.
    Where do parents get help from? Usually they either do what their parent did, or do the opposite. I get all my help from none other than the bible, and knowing my heavenly father. Understanding him helps me understand everything, but not many people believe as I do. I have heard some great parenting tapes that make a lot of sense. But we are past that point I assume. No matter what if you communicate with her and share with her, you both can work whatever it is out. keeping everything in isn't helping anyone as you can see.
  8. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Also there are always going to be other concerts. It may be a bummer for now, but I know that there could be something else just as enjoyable if you searched for it. :hug:
  9. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    is there a relative that you trust that you could stay with?

    has the band canceled the whole tour, or just one city?
  10. DawnB

    DawnB Well-Known Member

    At everybody,

    Heh, I think that's one of my biggest problems--I think too much ahead. Even if there's another band I like playing this summer, I won't have the money or travel to go. The band has canceled the rest of the tour, and since they were part of an event/festival that isn't canceled, I can't get my sister's money back. I really planned to just go to this one and I'm running low on money as is. There will probably be free events around the town somewhere but I can't say I'm looking forward to them.

    Mom is religious, but she is naturally someone that has a temper and a problem with patience, like I. I don't know, mom and I have never got along. Dad and I used to get along a little more because he was more rational. I miss him sometimes.
  11. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    maybe you could go to the show anyway. maybe it would be fun.

    I suppose that you could ask for you money back. If you live in the states and they won't give you your money back, you can threaten to file a complaint with your state's attorney general's office for bait and switch tactics

    is your dad still around, but living elsewhere?
  12. DawnB

    DawnB Well-Known Member

    I was hoping to see at least another band that I like, but none of them compare. I will be going, I'll just be miserable.

    No, he died almost a year ago, that's when hell started.
  13. DawnB

    DawnB Well-Known Member

    Mom and I just had a fight again, and she's threatening to take me to the hospital. Nothing can get well.
  14. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry
  15. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry about your father
    are you getting any help? medications? therapy? losing somebody so close to you is not easy...i started going to therapy in the first place because my friend passed away in a car accident...otherwise, i would never have sought treatment...
    please take care of yourself...
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Dawn, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. Have you spoken to your mother about how you feel? :hug:
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