i wanna <edit moderator method> before tomorrow

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The Scream, Jan 22, 2011.

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  1. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    lately things have been going crap

    my suicidal feelings are at an all time high since 3 years time

    friday morning i felt <Edit Moderator method>..

    eventually i managed to get downstairs and talk to someone [i live in a group home], my hands were shaking like crazy all day and i couldn't concentrate on anything longer then 5 minutes...

    so i told them i felt like killing myself, with the hope my urge would then dissappear, or at least weaken... which it didn't...

    and now they want me to keep on talking about my feelings ><

    i have nothing to tell them anymore...

    i wanna die

    i wanna <edit Mod method> myself

    without failing this time

    that's it
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit, Methods> before tomorrow

    Please don't do anything :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  3. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit, Methods> before tomorrow

    ahhhhhh, i don't know how im going to get through the night ><
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  4. kobie76

    kobie76 Well-Known Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit, Methods> before tomorrow

    Im sorry to here you feel so bad, please don't do anything...sending you hugs:hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  5. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit, Methods> before tomorrow

    i fail everytime anyway

    fuck, i wish i wasn't such a pussy in everything ><



    thanks for your reply :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  6. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit, Methods> before tomorrow

    I'm glad you have people who are willing to help you as best as possible and they are willing to talk to you :hug:
    Please do not hurt yourself were here for you :console: x
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  7. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Sometimes it is better to distract yourself rather than talking about your feelings. Try doing a puzzle or game. It can occupy your mind enough to let you calm down. If that does not work call for help please.
     
  8. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit> before tomorrow

    they don't help at all, they would shoot me down if they would help me [sorry if thats also a method]

    there words don't do anything to me anymore
    all they care about is there loan anyway

    thanks for your reply :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  9. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit> before tomorrow

    Do you at all get any form of couselling/therapy to support you? :hug: x
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  10. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    i've done that for so long, occupying my mind with something else

    everything leads to me dying anyway
    everytime i play assasins creed and slay a guard i imagine myself getting slain
     
  11. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit> before tomorrow

    i don't... im good at making people believe im doing really great and have my failure suicide attempts without them findout out and getting me hospitilized

    when i told them i wanted to kill myself they asked what happend

    they're so stupid

    i wanted to kill myself since the very fist day they got to know me
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2011
  12. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Re: i wanna <Mod Edit> before tomorrow

    But you never told them that so how would they know, if your going to hide behind a lie one emotion can cause great difficulty, could you speak to your GP?
     
  13. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    Re: i wanna hang myself before tomorrow

    they were so busy dealing with the other people who live here

    they never even came knocking on my door
    whenever i tried to bring something up they were always too busy

    i could... but there's a big chance she'll put me in the hospital again, i don't want that...
     
  14. mollycat

    mollycat Member

    we are all good at hiding what we want to do.
    Tell us about yourself.
    Death is so final. we want to talk to you first.
    We all are so HUMAN, With faults and warts..
    You are with friends, stay the night and welcome the dawn with us.
    I can share my problems, but would rather hear yours.
    regards
    Mike
     
  15. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    my biggest problem right now is that i don't have anything thats gonna 100% kill me right away...

    and my second problem is that i miss having a home -__-"
    i don't know how much longer i can stand living here, i feel homeless
     
  16. mollycat

    mollycat Member

    I can't give you advice about how to kill yourself..It's just not within my heart. Been there..way to close..only the hand of God is the reason I AM HERE NOW
    No "buck-up" speech. Just survive the day.Find someway to live.
    There is always hope.
    if you live in Northern New Hampshire you can crash on my couch.It's so cold -35 below zero
     
  17. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Don't give up man. Why do you want to die so badly?
     
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