I wanna know if someone feels the same...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ~used~, Dec 22, 2007.

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  1. ~used~

    ~used~ New Member

    To put it simply im 21 its incredibly hard to even keep typeing this even thou i know im wasteing my time, Y? because i dont even know if i care who reads this.
    Life IS unfair and there is no equility. Im lucky in some respect, im social, some people do like me. I have a roof over my head....but having that roof is just a stepping stone.
    Inside im lonely... i have no family... i got beaten and verbaly abused for the past 21 years.... im used to hearing arguements everyday. I have to stand by and watch people destroy themsleves being depressed and self destructing because they wont let anyone help them or help themselves.
    I have done everything myslef ive always put on a brave face... ive tryed to be a good person because i have seen so much bad i believe it is rare for people to be good... so i try to be.
    I have no control in my life... money is everything i dont care what you tell yoursleves, i genuienly believe im cursed, if there was a devil he wants me to kill myself... i have been so ...... god i wish i could believe this message is even worth it. The only reason im still alive is cause im a coward... i dont wanna die painfully and i can get hold of<Mod edit: methods>

    everything is hard i havnt ever had a break from bad things. i struggle.
    The funny thing is the people i keep close as my friends dont have a clue you know y? ive had my experiece of having good close friends but no1 wants you to shit on the parade...and i wouldnt want to.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2007
  2. saeyoon Chung

    saeyoon Chung Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same boat with you..
    except I'm 22 and socially crippled.

    It would not help you one bit that.. someone like me is in the same boat as yours.. but well.. since you asked..

    I say.. keep putting on a brave face and keep trying to be a good person like you always have been.

    Some blessed people really are perfect on the outside(looks,$,social,job,fame), but NO ONE is perfect(not even close) on the inside.

    We all have deep-rooted problems that we deal with on a daily basis.
    And the matter of fact is no one wants to see that shit and we don't have to bring it to surface for everyone to see.

    You might have felt guilty about 'pretending' to be someone you're not. However you're doing it for a good cause and we do not wish to see or show the ugliness we possess on the inside.

    I mean... people just want to have fun and toast to good life. No abuse stories, no childhood pain, no hidden secrets.. people want to hear..

    Just keep being the person you portray yourself to be.. and don't feel guilty about it.

    I don't have a very good grip on my life so I don't know about having control over life. It comes down to self-discipline but that's never easy.

    I applaud you for being the good person you are despite your struggles and I believe that you have the strenth to overcome your struggles.
     
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